


Weep Not

by cat_huple



Category: Tegan and Sara (Band)
Genre: F/F, greek fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-24
Updated: 2020-11-29
Packaged: 2021-03-09 22:01:44
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 40,209
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27693140
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cat_huple/pseuds/cat_huple
Summary: Vacationing in Santorini allows both twins to realize some things. RE-UPLOADED AND RE-EDITED.
Relationships: Sara Quin/Tegan Quin
Comments: 2
Kudos: 7





	1. Refusal of the Call

**Author's Note:**

> Very lightly edited. I just ran it through spell check and did some minor changes. Enjoy, nevertheless. The next chapters up soon.

i.

The summer is a tame fireball. The sun makes everybody sweat but they’re happy to sweat when it’s the generous ocean breeze that licks away the heat.

All the passengers in the ferry parted from the docks in rocky waves. Natives and foreigners alike poured out into the island, a murmur of awed and excited voices blending together, vibrating all around. The sea’s breeze and the chattering crowd washed over Sara like a comforting caress. 

By her side Tegan was step by step gradually being pushed closer until their shoulders brushed together. Both caught each other's eyes, smiles breaking out onto their warm faces. Tegan’s excited grin was dazzling as she glowed under the white sun and blue sky.

They had gone to different countries before. It was not the spark of wanderlust that fueled their eagerness, but the fact that for the first time in a long time, they were to be on a vacation, just the two of them. No touring, no gigs, no anything. There was a thrill when they made the plans. First as ‘what ifs’, then suggestions, and finally Sara’s proposal to have a small sister vacation. Tegan could compare the feeling back when Sara had asked to write songs together. It was a reaffirmation that their relationship was strong and even growing as the years passed. 

Their relationship had been the best it had ever been since they were kids. Sara had just realized it, that she and Tegan were having some of the best years of their lives career wise and more personally, between themselves.They shared a past that was worn from the constant pull. So strange to see how they had grown from all that.

It was only in recent years that Sara caught herself taking long looks at Tegan, finding that her sister was growing more into herself. It becomes more apparent in these quiet moments between them. 

“Are you staring at me?”

Tegan is meeting her eyes as they walk shoulder to shoulder through the crowd into the entrance of the city. Tourist traps and gaudy signs greeting them with the beautiful city laid out beyond. 

“Yeah, you got a little something right here.” Sara reaches over to pick at Tegan’s hair, brushing away the lint that’s not there. Really, it’s just a deflection, a reason to touch her. 

Tegan gives an amused look before they both look onward.

Everything is mostly by foot and the sisters make it to their hotel in just a short while. That short while is just enough time for them to take in the sights. The place is beautiful in pictures but even more stunning up close. No longer on the ferry and actually being on the island stirred a new eagerness in them. 

The city slopes down the steep cliffs of the island, sliding into the warf and sea while the cloudless sky lingers over. They walked through the busy streets of Fira and up to Firostefani, the quiet cap of the island. Sara had done much research into where she wanted them to stay and it seemed as though Firostefani was the much more tame option, a quiet town full of sights that went through the day leisurely and winded down slowly at night. The sisters had taken to calling the two towns Fira and Firo. Rowdy Fira and sleepy Firo. 

They headed upwards on the cobblestone paths and stone roads with the sparkling ocean on their left that held the black volcanic structures and cliffs that edged from the island, and on the right were the white-washed houses which were remnants of caves, reshaped and modernized. All sorts of tourists walked to and from the path. It seemed like people from all over the world were there.

It felt like you could look out and see the whole island layed out before you, see it curve like a crimson moon, see the villages and towns covering the land like a blanket in the distance. 

The climb to the hotel was like climbing a maze of souvenir shops and quaint little stores until they finally made it to the top of their path. 

Their hotel, not the most private of places but comfortably luxurious with an outdoor pool and bar, sits in a nook where the stone steps descend into a bright white villa with palm trees decorating the sides of the paths. Sara didn’t even realize palm trees grew in Greece, but apparently they grow at this particular villa. It overlooks the ocean below and has a breathtaking view of the rest of the town, Fira in the distance, stretching into the island’s light green hills. Sara is charmed and she can tell Tegan is too. 

Their suite is near the edge of the villa, all the way down the stairway path. Though they have close neighbors, the place feels like their own. When they walk into the small furnished suite, nature and sun laying against the windows, it feels like they’re walking into a home waiting for them. It’s decorated with modern yet cozy furnishings, and Sara is fascinated by the white walls and their imperfect shapes. 

There were two beds in the master bedroom, both lying on both sides of the glass-window doors. Tegan claims the right side as always. Ever since they shared beds in cheap motels or booked rooms with two beds, Tegan always gravitates to the right. They set their suitcases aside before Sara announces that she’s going to take a shower. 

Tegan falls onto the modest sized mattress, testing the springs and feeling the silken texture of the white blankets. “Yeah, that’s fine. I guess I’ll unpack while I wait.”

“Before we do anything I just need to wash away the plane ride and ferry and taxi and also the walk. God it’s been a long two days,” She sighs, rifling through her suitcase, preparing fresh clothes and digging out a shower kit. 

As she digs through her things she takes her phone out.

“What are you doing?” Tegan asked when she noticed her sister heavily focused on the screen.

“Downloading this app before I forget.”

Tegan walked over, leaning over her shoulder, scoffing when she saw the screen. “You know I learned Greek right?”

“You learned like two things and I’m not even confident you can remember them.”

“Not true. And I know you’re gonna ask me to prove it but I don't have to prove shit.” 

“Well, I’m downloading this translator as backup just in case your knowledge of the greek language fails us. Besides,” Sara says, setting her phone down, “Like half the population speaks some English supposedly.” 

“Well do what you have to do but you're going to feel pretty silly when I speak some Greek and make everyone fall in love with me.”

“I’m sure.”

Sara lets herself smile though.

Tegan catches that smile. Observes the subtleties of it.

“Hey,” She pulls Sara’s attention towards her. 

When she has Sara looking at her expectantly in her way, she felt precious affection trickle down her chest, dripping around her heart and pooling to her stomach. 

“Your hair looks really nice.” 

Sara’s hair once longer, was now similar to Tegan's own, only more wispy and straight. Sara liked to comb it to the side. She had cut it knowing it would be easier in the summer heat, especially the Greece summer heat. Tegan thought it was cute. Secretly she thought it was cute because they were matching in a way. 

Sara was taken aback by the sudden compliment, but took the kind words without fuss. “Thanks,” She says, her eyes squinting in slight suspicion as she runs her fingers through the freshly chopped hair.

Tegan merely shrugged, her attention dropping to her suitcase. She began unpacking, because if she didn’t do anything to distract herself she would have just stared. At Sara’s short hair, at her content smile, at her rosy cheeks. Their vacation was hardly beginning and Tegan was already too wound up, too happy. She wanted to say ‘I'm really glad we're doing this’ but it felt too early, maybe too sentimental or sappy. But she thought it and it was true. 

Sara headed to the bathroom which was in the hall, leaving Tegan with fresh nerves. Her stomach wouldn’t quit it’s flipping of anticipation. She felt it on and off since she had set foot in the Athens airport and boarded the ferry. She couldn’t stop thinking about how this little vacation was going to turn out, how she and Sara were going to simply spend time together. Just them.

There was the sneaking fright that being alone together without any buffers such as band-mates, family, or girlfriends was going to allow a strain if they were to get into any arguments or fights. Worst, Tegan had a fear that maybe Sara would grow bored with spending time with her, but she had to shake away those negative thoughts. They were easy to rid of when she was looking forward to the trip more than she was dreading it. 

Sara was following a similar train of thought as steam filled the bathroom and the shower heated up. She was prepared for things to get rocky as that seemed unavoidable when it came to Tegan and herself, but she was optimistic. This was going to be a peaceful little trip. She and Tegan were going to soak in the summer sun, visit some of the best wineries in Greece, and just take a deep breath. Life could be so hectic in their normal lives, she just needed to rest and was glad Tegan would be by her side to rest with her. 

The pressure of the shower was just right, the heat melting away the strain of the journey. By the time she was clean and refreshed out of the shower, she felt like she was ready to take on whatever the day had left to offer. She changed into some fresh clothes, put a comb through her hair to part it to the side neatly, and threw a towel around her neck before rejoining her sister in the bedroom. 

Tegan had clearly unpacked from the empty suitcase thrown to the floor, but she was wiped out, sleeping soundly on her bed. She lay above the covers, her hands folded over her stomach as she breathed softly. Maybe Sara had enjoyed the hot water for too long.

It wasn’t a surprise that she fell asleep since they had quite the trip, but Tegan had been wound up all day, not being able to hide her hyperness very well so maybe Sara was a little disappointed that she had fallen asleep when the day was still as good as fresh. She knew she could have woken her, but she deserved her rest and Sara would let her.

It had been awhile since the two had shared a hotel room, a while since Sara had seen Tegan’s sleeping face. Soft eyelids devoid of worry as she slumbered, a mouth that was partially open, quivering every now and then.

Sara kneeled by Tegan’s bed, careful not to hover so her still damp hair would not drip onto her sleeping sister. She observed Tegan, trying to memorize how peaceful she looked. In the spur of the moment she reached out to move a few strands of hair away from her forehead, pointless since they fell back in place. Her pointer finger hovered over all her different features, careful not to actually touch the skin there.

Despite the delicate handling, Tegan still stirred and before Sara could do anything, warm brown eyes blinked open. She was confused in her groggy state of awakening, a perfect time for Sara to sneak away, but she stayed put, merely letting her hands fall to her lap. Tegan noticed her, how she was close and before she could say anything, Sara spoke up.

“Sleepy?” She asked.

“Maybe a little.” Tegan watched her sister, watched the water still dripping over her temples in little buds. “What are you doing?” She asked, not so much with accusation, but with amusement. Like she had caught Sara doing something silly. 

“I just got out of the shower and you were passed out so I was wondering whether to wake you or not.”

“Well I'm up now,” Tegan said around a yawn. 

Sara raised a brow. “Oh really?”

“I’m up,” Tegan groaned, sitting up until Sara took hold of her shoulders.

“You have bags under your eyes.”

“I just woke up, that’s why. Come on, let's go do stuff.”

“Hey,” Sara cooed softly. “If you’re tired just sleep. It’s okay to have a little nap.”

“I just don’t want to waste any time,” Tegan pouted. 

“Just a little nap, and straight to dinner. I don’t want you burning out or anything. I’ll even take one too.”

Tegan still seemed unsure and was clearly fighting a great mental battle, whether to get a little more rest or not waste the little daylight left. Sara decided to make the decision for her and crawled into the other side of the bed, surprising Tegan into silence. 

“Move to your side,” Sara instructed. 

“Uh,” She did as she was told. “Okay,” She murmured softly, keeping still as Sara pressed herself to Tegan’s back, wrapping her arms around her waist so she could hold her in a spoon. 

“Cozy?” Sara asked, knowing she already had Tegan.

Tegan nodded, not trusting herself to speak. Carefully, she set her own arms over Sara’s to hold them. 

“I’ll wake you up in time for dinner okay? You’re not going to miss anything.”

Tegan relaxed in her arms. “Okay,” She relented and Sara could already feel her breath even out in slow sleepy puffs.

She felt the rise and fall of Tegan’s firm tummy until it slowed down, and as Sara counted the times she felt Tegan move under her hand, she began to slip into her own sleep. Whatever gets Tegan to sleep, she told herself. 

…

Maybe Sara lied about waking up Tegan, or maybe she wasn’t all that invested in making sure they woke up at a certain time because it was Tegan who woke up first, hours later, disoriented and barely getting a hold of her surroundings before she remembered where she was.

She feels Sara’s hands holding onto her in a light embrace and she remembers how Sara had been sweet to her, lying down with her so she would take a nap. It had been awhile since her sister had acted in such a way, so she cherished the moment, lying closer to the body behind her, relaxing into it. 

It's a few moments of bliss until she begins to wonder what time it is. They had arrived at the hotel just before evening so it wasn’t so strange that the sky was dark, but she was curious. She forced herself to disconnect from her sister’s arms, leaning over the side of the bed to find her phone.

“Jesus,” Tegan hissed, reading the time. “It’s fucking ten.” 

“Hey.” Sara sleepily reached over to feel Tegan’s back when she felt that the body in her arms was no longer there.

“Sara.” She started to shake her until Sara’s eyes reluctantly opened. She hid her face in her pillow to hide from the unwelcome light her closed eyes had shielded her from. 

“What?” She grunted, her voice groggy with sleep.

“I thought you were gonna wake me up. It’s ten.”

Sara finally lifted herself up from her pillow. “Oh shit really?” Though, she didn’t look too concerned. She honestly didn’t expect to sleep for so long, but maybe she was more tired than she thought. 

Tegan sat up, sighing as she stared at the clock on her phone like she was hoping time would rewind. 

Sara could see the dejectness in her sister’s back and moved to sit by her. “Hey,” She said, rubbing Tegan’s back. “I’m sorry, I didn’t think I would be sleeping in that late.”

“It’s okay. I’m not all that upset. We needed the sleep I think.”

“We can still go eat. I bet a lot of places are still open. Plus bars and stuff.”

“You hungry?” Tegan asked.

Sara didn’t need to think too hard about the question, she felt her stomach wrinkle in hunger, the nap just fuelling her appetite it seemed. “Yeah, I wanna go eat.”

The walk back down to Fira wasn’t nearly as tiring or aggravating as it was when they had hiked up to their hotel, seasick under the hot sun. The night sky hung above them, giving the dry climate a fresh yet still breeze.

With the shower and a good nap, Sara was feeling great. Tegan on the other hand, seemed a bit agitated, maybe thrown off by waking up so late. Sara figured she just needed a good meal. 

The city was still wide awake, people moving from bar to bar, people still lounging on the piers, laughter and chatter echoing from the restaurants they passed. They would not have any problems finding a place to eat. With nearly no knowledge about any of the restaurants around, they picked out a random place that seemed to be attracting quite a few people. Just a small little place with a patio and tables that laid under the night sky with soft lights hanging as classical music played from the speakers. 

They ordered wine along with their meals and Tegan looked to be growing into higher spirits after eating some of the tzatziki dip and pita bread brought to them as appetizers. 

“Feel better?” Sara asked.

“So good,” Tegan moaned. 

They enjoyed each other's company, both sipping at white wines until their food was brought to them. Two different types of pastas that they finished in grateful silence. 

Sara thought about how common this scene actually was, herself and Tegan sharing a meal and drinks in some elegant restaurant. There was a moment where she wanted to take out her phone to make a video or sneak a picture out of habit but she thought better of it. That sort of thing wasn’t important this trip. And maybe secretly, she wanted to keep this to herself. Tegan sitting back lazily in her chair, idly drinking her wine and basking under the starry sky. Maybe this scene belonged to only herself. 

The meal had obviously made Tegan feel better, as she became more talkative as their night progressed. Maybe the wine had a little something to do with it too. 

They had enjoyed the wine so much that they purchased a bottle to bring back to the hotel despite the complimentary bottle that was already waiting for them back at the suite, a red bow tied around its neck. 

They make it back to the villa in high spirits, Sara holding the wine. The walk back wasn’t long since their hike was filled with playful chatter that passed the time. 

Revisiting the suite when the sun is not beaming through the windows feels like visiting a new place altogether and it takes a moment to get reacquainted with their surroundings. They take their bottle to the kitchen in search of a corkscrew.

“What about the complimentary wine?” Tegan asked, looking at the lonely bottle that rested on a little table near the door.

Sara shrugged, already popping her bottle. “The more the merrier.” She poured it into a wine glass, filling it half way. 

Tegan grabbed the complimentary bottle and did the same, pouring it and taking a sip. “This is amazing,” She said in appreciation. “Not as good as the restaurant’s probably but still.”

“Here,” Sara said, handing her glass out. “Take a sip of mine and I’ll take a sip of yours.”

“Gia mas,” Tegan declared, clinking her glass against Sara’s. Some sort of greek equivalent of saying cheers. Sara could tell Tegan enjoyed saying it, how it rolled off her tongue. 

“Cheers,” Sara said in defiance, earning her a playful scowl from her sister. 

Both sipped at each other's wine before trading glasses again.

“Yours is good, it’s fruity,” Sara said.

“Yours is so crisp. I’m going to have to steal another glass later.” 

“Go ahead. We can share.”

There was a weariness that grew in them after dinner. The day had started to catch up with them, but they did all they could to stay up for just a little longer. Laying back on the sofa half paying attention to a random english channel on their tv while they talked. 

Tegan was almost afraid to go to bed. She was enjoying Sara’s company so much and they had enough wine in them that their conversations were filled with sloppy speech and giggling. This was when it became harder for Sara to keep up her steely mask and Tegan enjoyed watching her sister’s flushed face as she talked with little care. 

But she was also scared because she didn’t want to ask Sara the burning question. When it was finally time for them to retire to the room Tegan wondered if she would be able to ask Sara if they would be sleeping in the same bed. They already had earlier, but maybe it would be a one-time thing. Sara’s way of putting Tegan to bed without any arguments. 

When it was time and both agreed that they should go to bed and turn the tv off, Sara fell into her own mattress on the left of the room, sighing with weariness and kicking her pants off to the floor without much thought. Tegan flushed, seeing her twin’s bare legs, but hesitantly went to her own bed, getting under the covers and undressing until she was comfortable in her briefs and tee. 

She reached out, switching the lamp off, leaving the room in darkness aside from the glow of the moon. She had been too chicken to ask, too chicken to crawl into Sara’s bed. She pushed it from her mind when she could tell that Sara had fallen asleep. She allowed herself to fall into the same peaceful darkness.

…

Sara wakes up and she knows that it’s later than she normally gets up. The blue sky that shines through the bedroom window looks settled with the outside world chattering away. Tegan is still in a deep sleep, which is fine by Sara. That gives her some time to explore her surroundings for a minute, just herself. 

She quietly makes her bed, which is smaller than what she’s used to but comfortable enough. Both beds sit on the opposite sides of the room, the door between them. Sara had no trouble sleeping but she knows she’ll feel some relief when she’s back to sleeping in her king size mattress back at home. She changes into some day clothes, not worried that Tegan will wake up to see anything, and leaves the room. 

Their suite is decently sized for two people, with enough room to spread out if needed. Sara’s hand trails over the white walls, feeling the grainy cool texture. She had read that most of the buildings were the remnants of old caves, carved and built over, painted in white plaster that was made from volcanic ash. 

In a way they really were hiding out in a cave in a way. Hiding from social media, everyday life, cameras, partners. They only welcomed themselves on this trip. They were tourists, the same as everybody else. 

First things first, she ventured into the kitchen to get some coffee started. There sat an average coffee pot on the counter along with the half empty wine bottles they abandoned last night. In the cupboard was a coffee press which she opted for. The room was already stocked with coffee, thank god, which she ground up into course grounds to fill the grind up and started boiling some water to fill it up the rest of the way. Minutes of waiting and minutes of pressing and soon the scent of fresh coffee began to sift through the kitchen and out into the rest of the rooms. 

It was only moments later that she heard shuffling and movement from the other room. Perhaps the smell had awoken Tegan. 

Sara poured herself a cup, adding only a hint of sugar and cream. When she heard Tegan pad through the living room into the kitchen she turned around, giving her sister a small greeting. 

Tegan was stretching her arms in a yawn, dressed for the day, and blinking sleepily against the morning light. “That smells good,” She said. “Makes me want a cup of coffee.”

“There’s enough for the both of us.”

Tegan looked off into the distance in thought. Maybe because she was half awake that she had to think about things very carefully. “No,” She said after a good second of thought. “I’m good with just the smell.”

“Okay weirdo.”

“So what’s on the artenirary?” Tegan asked, sitting down at the table after getting herself a glass of water. 

“Mm. I didn’t plan anything today. I just wanted us to settle in. I don't feel like eating out for every meal so we have to get groceries, of course.”

“Of course.”

Sara sipped at her coffee, the bitter and sweet mixing together pleasantly. 

“Shall we make a list?” Sara asked.

Sara joined Tegan at the table, and the two named things that came to mind that they would need for their week. 

“Stuff for salads definitely. And sandwiches.”

Tegan watched as Sara wrote their grocery list down, often taking little breaks for a sip of coffee or to gaze out of the kitchen window in thought. Tegans eyes followed the sunshine that reflected off her smooth face, golden rays tracing her sharp jaw and cheekbones, pouring into her brown eyes. 

Tegan sneaks glances until Sara sets the pen down. 

“Okay. Done. We can go catch breakfast if you want? And pick this stuff up later? I’m starving.”

Tegan nodded. “Yeah that sounds good.”

The two finished getting ready for the day. Because of the hot weather, Tegan had packed many pairs of summery pants made from light cotton and covered in colorful prints. She picked out a pair of those and a plain black tank top. Sara had her own assortment of light pants and trousers, breezy button ups, and airy t-shirts. She had opted for a pair of light pants and a white t-shirt. Sara threw her backpack on while Tegan set her satchel over her shoulder. Both donned black sunglasses to fight the glaring sun. 

Walking around Firostefani was like walking through a bustling castle. Crowded with people and walls. The sisters made sure to stick close together, often time brushing shoulders, giving each other knowing looks every time. _Look how close this place is making us. Not our fault that we seem to keep bumping into each other._

Firostefani may be a quiet town, but it’s still alive with people. When the two make their way to a little cafe not far from their villa, it’s packed. And when they take their seats they watch the steady stream of tourists navigate through the streets that run through the town, the sea right behind them.

Tegan takes off her sunglasses when a waiter comes by for their order. Watching Tegan talk to strangers is fascinating, how she’s able to charm the people around her with just her smile and few friendly words. Truthfully, the things that embarrassed Sara about Tegan were all the things she also loved about her. Her enthusiasm, appetite for companionship, friendliness, these were all things Sara admired her for. 

Both ordered crepes. Golden fluffy crepes.

Afterwards they walked to a nearby market, a small place that was locally owned. Everything local or imported from a nearby island. Tegan held the plastic basket, following Sara around as she looked for the items on their list. The market seemed to be one of the less crowded places they had visited so far. 

“You know I can't remember the last time we went grocery shopping together,” Tegan said, like she just came to the realization.

“Does this count as grocery shopping?” Sara asked, dropping a bagged loaf of bread into the basket. 

“Well we’re shopping for groceries so you tell me.”

Sara thought about it for a bit, staring off into the aisle. 

“We always stop at places and get snacks and stuff for the road, but I think the last time we went actual shopping shopping was when we were living together,” Tegan continued.

Sara nodded, almost absent mindedly. “You’re probably right.” 

“It’s kind of like we’re living together again.”

Sara smiled to herself because she was thinking the same thing. The memory of them, nineteen and goofing around their grocery store, shopping for groceries to bring home to their shared apartment had pushed its way into her mind. 

Tegan followed Sara into the deli section, watching her quiet sister look at the meats with serious contemplation. Sara was still quiet, so much so Tegan was afraid that she had somehow ruined the mood or day or entire trip until Sara turned to her.

“I think I want pastrami sandwiches. Some grapes. That would be good for a picnic maybe.”

Tegan perked up. “A picnic?” She knew Sara was changing the subject but it was a welcome change. 

“I dunno. Maybe to the beach. We didn’t really plan today out, but that can be fun I think.”

“A picnic on the beach?” 

“What do you say? We can take this food home and pack up some lunches.”

“I mean… yeah. I didn’t think you’d want to do something like that.” _Home._ Is that how Sara was looking at it? 

“I want to see the beaches. There's a black beach, red beach, white… They're supposed to be really pretty.”

Sara still seemed distracted but Tegan wouldn’t dwell on it. They got back to their hotel, groceries and a small cooler in tow.

Sara had made the sandwitches. Even though they had just eaten, she had a craving for this particular meal. In her imagination they would taste much better eating them on top of a beach towel with the ocean only a few feet away. Maybe she just wanted to be in public with Tegan. Have people around them to watch and make sure Sara would be good. 

It was more of a pain to get to the beach than they first believed. They had to take the bus and wait at the bus station in busy Fira where they waited longside a crowd of other confused and jittery tourists waiting for the same bus. It was a welcome escape when the bus finally arrived, offering air conditioned seating. The ride was about twenty minutes, but it went by fast when the windows were always offering such breathtaking views. Sara especially liked driving through the quiet green country of the island, passing farm animals, wooden huts, and lonely churches that sat by the road. They should have stayed here, a place where there was nobody else but goats and hills. 

The beach is busy and the color of charcoal. The sand feels of grain and is hot to the touch. 

The dark shore lined with beach umbrellas with people on their towels scattered under and around them, basking in the sun. Both had worn swimsuits under their clothes just in case they wanted to swim, but Sara wasn’t planning on swimming. She had only wanted to lay down while covered in layers of sunscreen while she read or simply soaked in the feeling of the salty air. 

They relax, very few words shared between them. They were able to find a free spot under a large umbrella where they lay down their towels. Throughout the day they order beers at the bar that sits just a way off from the beach, and it’s not long before Sara unpacks their lunch. Both eat gratefully, booze idly swimming around their heads, food settling comfortably. The sun is no longer harsh, instead it feels one with the sky as the world becomes more dim.

Tegan begs Sara to swim with her, but Sara is too difficult, too comfortable. She regrets not swimming with Tegan though. She watched her strip her outer clothes off, revealing small tight swimming shorts and tank top. It’s similar to the one Sara is wearing under her own clothes. She is always captivated by the skin her sister rarely shows off. 

She watches Tegan splash around, walking in the water until it laps at her waist. She looks similarly to all the children who had been playing along the shores earlier. 

She would move her attention from Tegan and switch to spying on the people around her who were scattered throughout the beach. There were so many people but it felt like they were all having independent experiences from each other, all in their own worlds. She secretly admired all the different people, most of them couples and families. She wondered about them, tried to imagine their relationships. 

When Tegan joins Sara back on dry sand, her skin smells like the sea. It seems different than any other time they had swam. Sara allowed herself to take in that scent, saltwater, seaweed, the subtle iodine. She liked how Tegan wore the ocean breeze, the smell on her skin, bathing suit, and hair all blending with sand and chemicals of suntan lotion. 

They wind down, relaxing ever further. Tegan had reached over to grab something from the cooler, her hand accidentally brushing against Sara’s thigh. Just a small graze. 

“Sorry,” She apologized quietly, unaware of how that little coincidental touch had made Sara tremble. 

Sara would never admit to have wanted that touch. She was afraid Tegan could tell how affected she was and simply brushed the apology away.

“Whatever,” Sara mumbled. Tegan’s hand had been warm, bits of sand stuck on her knuckles. She wished she was the one who accidentally brushed her hand over Tegan’s thigh. The skin just above her knee still had water droplets slowly falling down the tender skin, she wanted to know what it felt like. 

The day dragged on lazily as the sun simmered down and bled orange as it dipped into the horizon. They rested, drinking more dark beers until the sun disappeared. People still litter the beach in clumps but the energy had settled down, everyone calming down as the sky grew darker and darker. 

Sara feels like she can fall asleep here. Just lie down under the cool sky only for Tegan to wake her in the morning and drag her into the water, taking her by the hand and following her close while the water nips at their ankles. Next time Sara will swim with Tegan. 

They don’t say a word on the bus drive back to the villas, much too tired. No words need to be said to say that this was a perfectly fine day so they quietly dress into their night clothes and fall into their respective beds exhausted. 

…

Tegan dreams like she’s slipped back into the not so distant past. Funny how the future is always looming close while the past stretches so far away. 

Tegan thought they were vacationing in Greece, but apparently they were back home, or more accurately, Tegans home. She was sitting on her sofa, mindlessly watching tv, not paying much attention to what was on. 

It seemed the whole world was on mute until her sister’s voice shakes her out of her daze.

“Tegan, are you paying attention to the tv or can I turn it off?”

She turns to see Sara on the other side of the couch, her feet spread out on the cushions, a book on her lap. Tegan wordlessly turns off the tv, setting the remote on the table. Sara continues to read, throwing tegan a hum of gratitude. She knows Tegan too well. understanding when she’s bored or lost in her own head. 

Once the static of the tv is no longer buzzing around, tegan feels a lot more sober minded. Her sister’s hair is longer than she remembered, coming down to her shoulders neat and straight. Has it been that long since they were in Greece? It feels like yesterday they were eating lunch on the colorful sands next to the ocean. Maybe it had all been an elaborate dream. Sorrow fills Tegan at the thought of it all being a dream. All the time she shared with Sara, missed.

She reaches for her sister’s socked feet, laying them across her so that they're on her lap. Tegan ignores the questioning look thrown her way as she rubs soothing patterns on her sister’s soles, massaging up the arch and to the balls of her feet. 

Sara kicks lightly when she feels Tegan’s fingers gently digging into her. “What are you doing all of a sudden?”

“I just remembered a dream I had,” she says, as if that’s an explanation. 

Tegan traps her sister’s legs underneath her arms, not allowing her to kick free. Sara sighs, allowing herself to be trapped. 

“No tickling,” She warns. 

“We were on the beach in Greece and you cut your hair short.”

Sara hums as she half pays attention to Tegan, her eyes still skimming over the words of her book. Tegan stopped rubbing Sara’s socked feet, her hand still lingering.

“I miss you.”

“You were just dreaming about me,” Sara laughs.

“I still missed you.” 

She crawls over Sara, taking the book in her hands, gingerly slipping it from her grasp before setting it down on the coffee table, the pages hugging the glass. 

“Mm,” Sara hums when Tegan is leaning over her, her hands near her shoulders. Sara’s own hands grab onto Tegan’s forearms. Tegan can’t tell if it’s to stop her or encourage her. 

“Anything else happen in this dream?” Her voice leaks with coy interest. 

Tegan shakes her head. “Nothing really.” Even if it did, she wouldn’t know how to tell Sara something like that. 

“Oh really?” Sara’s hold grows firm. “Why are you so touchy-feely then?” She asks.

Tegan shrugs, welcomes the touch. “I just missed you is all.” 

“Why do you miss me?” Sara lost her playful smile, the shine in her eyes darkened. 

Tegan didn’t know how to say it. She didn’t understand it herself. She hoped to forgo words, instead leaning down slowly to rest her forehead against Sara’s. 

Sara could tell what Tegan wanted to do. She shook her head, grabbing Tegan by the jaw with both hands, as if to stop her from coming any closer. Pointless because Tegan would never do anything Sara didn’t want. 

“Don’t do that,” Sara whispered, her thumbs pressing into her cheekbones, smoothing down to the corners of her lips. The words seemed so harsh compared to her soft voice and touch. 

“Okay,” Tegan said, talking with Sara’s hands holding her. 

She sat up, away from Sara to sit back on her side of the couch. Sara’s legs curled back to where they had originally been, away from Tegan. Just like that everything just continued as it normally did. 

That’s when Tegan woke up confused as melancholy and shame swirled around in the fog of her waking brain. She was not too proud to find the feeling of hot white arousal biting her lower stomach as well. 

The bedroom is completely painted in the morning light, and despite the air conditioner whirring,sweat drips down her temples and between her breasts. 

She has a few moments of trouble deciphering memories from dreams and has to take a moment to connect all the dots until she realizes she had a dream, a realistic dream. It felt as if she had woken up from a memory, and her dream became jumbled with the actual true event it was inspired by. 

She feels an ache between her legs, like a heart beating there just as it was beating in her chest. It makes her turn to her sister in blushing dread. Sara sleeps on the opposite bed, her body turned towards Tegan, her lips in a sleepy pout, and her body all curled up under the blanket. 

It didn’t feel like a dirty dream. She can’t remember much of anything explicit going on but she knows why the feeling is there. Because, in actual life when Sara had been on her couch, reading, Tegan had been turned on by her. She wasn’t doing anything, just lying there reading peacefully, but her mere presence was enough to illicit bad thoughts. The feeling was still present, humming like it hadn’t gone away all this time. 

Tegan wishes that she could just fall back into her subconscious so that dream Tegan wasn’t so sad by Sara’s rejection. _She doesn't hate you, she even invited you to Greece, just the two of you. You don’t have to miss her._ She hated these types of dreams, she thought she was over them by now but apparently living in close quarters with Sara once again had these feelings reamerge. 

As quietly as possible, tegan sits up in bed, feeling the uncomfortable mess between her legs and cringing. She allows herself to take one peak at the peacefully sleeping sara, feeling even dirtier for it and escapes to the bathroom for a shower and change of clothes. 

She chasteness herself for the dream. Part of her wants to let it slide but another part of her knows that somewhere in her subconscious she longs for her sister. They’ve been close and that’s been wonderful but something's missing. Tegan doesn't want to think that way when she already has so much of Sara. When they’ve been doing so good.

When she’s dressed and clean of her thoughts, tegan takes a peek into the room where Sara sleeps soundly. They usually wake up around the same time but Tegan’s dream shocked her into an early morning. 

She sits on the main room’s couch. She thinks about turning on the small flat screen but thinks better of it, not wanting to wake her sleeping twin. She grabs her phone but remembers that the service all over the island is spotty and frustrating to deal with, causing her to sigh and lean back on the couch, closing her eyes.

The island produced a small chatter. Faint chirping of birds, the constant shuffling of people walking in Firostefani, and their voices, colorful but dim. The sounds of the streets outside their window was that of a painting beginning to fade. Even though the sounds were present, Tegan felt isolated from the world like these sounds were simply background, not to be taken seriously.

Despite herself, she tried to reenact her dream in her head. It was all blurry. All that remained were feelings and foggy pictures. The dream wasn’t devious in nature, there was even a calmness about it that had made her feel safe. She remembered how comfortable and at ease Sara had been in Tegan’s house on her couch, how she took hold of her face with tender hands. That was the last time Tegan had tried to kiss Sara, and Sara hadn’t tried since then either. It was months ago, it felt like a lifetime. 

Tegan let out another long frustrated sigh before pushing herself up from the couch and heading into the kitchen. She was becoming too wistful all alone and had to distract herself. 

She started some coffee, using the press because she knew that’s how Sara preferred it. Tegan wasn’t all that savvy when it came to coffee but she wasn’t a stranger to making coffee in a press since her girlfriend was also fond of it. She loved the smell of coffee, much more than the taste so she took a moment to simply look out the little kitchen’s window out onto the sea and take in the aroma.

Next, she took out ingredients for breakfast hoping that Sara wouldn’t wake up with too particular of a craving. She quietly hummed some songs while starting up the pan and chopping veggies. When the pan was hot and the cracked egg bubbling around the yoke, she rushed to the shared room.

Sara was still sleeping soundly. Tegan kneeled in front of her sister’s sleeping face, smiling when she heard her soft breaths. Even when she was sleeping she sounded sweet. Tegan reached out to shake Sara’s shoulder roughly until she was murmuring unhappily. Sara groaned in protest as her eyes blinked open. 

“Tegan,” Her groggy voice complained. “What do you want?”

“Wake up, we have shit to do.”

Sara blinked. Sat up, and looked out the window. “What time is it? When is the thing?”

“Not for awhile.”

Sara frowned. “Then why am I up.”

“I made coffee. For you. And omelettes. The kind you like with all the stuff in em.”

Sara reached for her phone, her sleepy eyes falling to the screen. “Why so early?”

Tegan shrugged. “Woke up early. I don't want to be awake without you anymore. I’m bored, I need company.” 

Sara sighed, falling back into bed. Tegan shook the mattress. “Come on,” She urged, “Breakfast and coffee.”

“I don’t want to get up.”

“What if I brought it to you?”

Sara peaked at Tegan with one eye. “You would bring me breakfast in bed?” She asked, her voice sobering up. 

“Already on it,” Tegan said, standing back up. “You just relax. Be right back.”

Tegan carefully placed the finished omelette on a plate, making sure it looked magazine perfect. Bright yellow with the colorful peppers and green veggies stuffed inside. She poured Sara’s coffee in a mug, adding only the smallest bit of sugar and cream. She wanted to set everything up on one of those trays that fold into a little table, but a normal tray would have to do. When walking back to the bedroom she thought about going outside to find a flower for decoration and ambiance but decided that was too much. 

Sara was lying down, her eyes still sleepy, but she looked to be patiently waiting. Tegan proudly showed off the tray. “Sit up,” She ordered.

Sara obeyed, sitting in her bed against the pillows. Tegan’s focus was briefly stolen by Sara’s sleep shirt, a large tee that dipped down showing off her strong clavicles. One side of the fabric dragged lower than the other side, giving Tegan a view of her shoulder as well. And like a teenager, Tegan was fascinated by the lack of bra found, even though she herself had slept without a bra. 

“Here take the coffee first,” Tegan said, a bit distracted. 

When Sara did so, Tegan said, “Taste it, tell me if it’s okay.” 

Sara held the mug with two hands, bringing the coffee close and inhaling the fresh scent before blowing over the steam and taking a small sip. “Perfect,” She said.

Sara took the tray, smiling down at the meal. She looked up to Tegan. “What’s the occasion?”

“It’s a vacation, that's the occasion,” Tegan said. “Oh hey, that rhymes!”

Sara smirked. “A new song perhaps?”

“I’ll work on it a little more and get back to you.”

Sara took a bite. “Mhm. This is really good. I think I woke up like super hungry.” She noticed Tegan was still standing by her bed, watching her. “You gonna eat?” Sara asked.

Tegan nodded awkwardly. “Uh yeah, be right back.” 

Tegan finished cooking her own food, thinking about Sara as she did so. She had just wanted to crawl into bed with Sara and hold her. Bringing her food and coffee in bed felt so domestic. Tegan could have been in another life where every morning Sara was waiting to be woken up by her. 

She joined Sara in the room, her own breakfast simply on a plate. She sat in her bed, positioned similarly to Sara, and began eating. Tegan was lost in her thoughts while Sara was still lost in her drowsiness so the morning stretched on quietly alongside the klinking of forks against plates. 

Afterwards when they had both finished their meals and Sara had a couple more cups of coffee, once refilled by Tegan,and then by herself when she finally got out of bed, Sara dressed for the day. They were both lounging in the living room discussing plans.

They had booked a wine tour. It would be their first real event taking advantage of what the island had to offer, or more accurately, what the city below, Fira, had to offer.

The tour wasn’t until much later into the day, and while on any other day Tegan would be patient enough to just sit in their little villa and spend time lounging until it was time to head out, she was much too hyperactive to sit still in the villa, not knowing if she could handle being alone with her sister closed off from the world. She practically begged Sara to let them leave early down to Fira for some exploring. And while Sara was wary of heading out to the busy city, she finally agreed. 

The sisters walked the sleek cobblestone of the town they were staying at, through the blue and white churches, and vendors down to Fira. It was impossible not to walk over somebody’s front yard. Simply built but beautiful homes sat together on the walking paths of most streets.

They talked pleasantly while walking to the main part of Fira, so much different in the day then at night. Tourist hordes flooded the paths that ran around all the different shops and restaurants, a steady stream of noise accompanying them. The center of Fira felt like an outdoor mall, with the subtle clash of intimate corners hidden within the clutter. Everything was held together with the glue of alleyways, stairs, and quiet nooks that took you to some other part of Fira.

The outskirts of the city overlooked the wharf to the sea with a crater view. Benches and tower viewers were set up so people could rest or look out into the distance where cruise ships and sailboats floated idly and the island stretched out beyond reach. Hovering over the crowded and busy main streets were peaceful clay watchtowers holding church bells and large chapels with blue domes.

Tegan pulled them towards a little strip of street that was cluttered with quiet inns, coffee shops, and a souvenir store. It had much homemade jewelry and postcards, just a simple tourist shop.Tegan excused herself for a moment while Sara was looking at the tables of colorful necklaces and postcards. The post cards had pictures of amazing views and architecture all around Santorini. She thought about buying one but she couldn’t come up with a reason to send one to anybody when she would be home in just under a week. 

Just moments later, Tegan snuck up behind her, setting something on her head. 

“What is this,” Sara smiled, taking a floppy straw hat off her head. She turned around to see Tegan was wearing a similar one, only more tan. 

“Did you really buy these?”

“Hey, it’s hot out. Put it on, you’re gonna look great in it.”

Sara set it back on, looking at herself in a small nearby mirror. “See? You look great,” Tegan repeated, joining her in looking in the mirror. When they were both wearing sunglasses and the same hats, they looked more like twins than usual. 

Heading back to the streets, she did have to admit that the hat helped with the relentless sun. 

“Thank you,” Sara told Tegan who only responded by shrugging with a smile. 

The main part of Fira was more open, with shops to all sides and people visiting, bouncing from one store to the next. Essentially tourist central, but still stunning. 

They mostly did window shopping, sometimes walking around the little stores for the air conditioning. Tegan would always pass the jewelry, taking great interest in the gift shops. Sara tried to figure out why she was so interested in that stuff before she realized she was probably looking for a gift for her girlfriend. Sara felt mixed up about that information, like she had forgotten that there was another world with different people Tegan belonged to. 

Without a word tegan purchased a thin bracelet, simple with some decorative beads, the symbol of the island which looked like an eye in the middle. She briefly showed it off to Sara before shoving it in her own bag. She didn’t explain who it was for but Sara already knew who it was for. 

Tegan had been acting off all day. Just subtle things that Sara barely catched herself. Tegan was still eager and happy, talking excitedly about their surroundings but she seemed to be distracted, half of her stuck by Sara’s side and the other half somewhere Sara could only dream of knowing. 

Hours had passed of visiting the streets shared by people taking photos, visiting the boutiques, and eating at restaurants and cafes. They sat down for lunch, a modest restaurant. Filled with tables, the windows open with hot air mixing in the cool air inside. There were many decorations on the walls that made the place seem intimate and personal despite all the people dining. 

Sara found herself watching all the other people around them, most of them couples. All day she found herself comparing herself and Tegan with every random couple they passed. If she let herself, it was easy to see them as any other couple they passed. It was scary how easily it was to fall into this fantasy. 

Their tour guide is kind enough to pick them up in the outskirts of Fira where there were actual roads. He pulled up in a van with the tour’s name printed on the side. His name was Hernan, and his accent was a mix of a mexican and greek, which didn’t sound much different apart from each other, but mixed together gave off an unusual voice. He was over eager and loud in his speaking, but friendly enough. Sara would chime in every now and then but tegan was the one who did most of the talking. Her tone almost matched his and they would be laughing together every now and then. Sara was amused by their interactions and simply sat back listening.

The drive led them to a scenic road where the gravel winded into a dirt road that was hugged by green fields. It was that green that Sara loved so much with its speckles of farm animals, black rocks, and charming country houses.

When the vineyard was in sight, Hernan changed form, his voice turning passionate as he spoke of the history and people of the wine vineyard. He was very knowledgeable of the area and loved talking about wine in general.

Even out in the reclusive country, the blue ocean stayed put as the backdrop to the hills. Just beyond the distance, a small white village snuck away in the hills, it’s presence similar to a ruined landscape. 

The grape vines grew in coils that slithers around on the ground like clumps of snakes. Green sprouted from the dry looking branches and in the leaves hid green grapes that bruised yellow and pink. Large woven baskets lined up throughout the yard, full of the picked grapes. It was here they met with Francesca, a beautiful native of the land who learned english to accommodate all the tourists that poured through her vineyard. She was polite yet lively, had the wrinkles and skin of a woman who worked under the sun, and looked to be maybe a little older than the twins themselves.

Both her and Hernan guided them through the yards of plucked vine coils to the white stone house that lay within the fields. The house belonged to Francesca, and sat the sisters at her kitchen table where she kept all the wine they were to try. All the bottles were filled with light wines. Francesca explained volcanic land manipulated the taste of the wine, giving it a sweet taste with a hint of sulfur. 

Wine glasses began piling up on the table with each new taste test, each glass just a sample. Pleasant conversation bounced from each person with each new wine and sisters were enjoying.

“Ah musicians. You sing?”

“Yes,” They replied politely. 

“How lovely. I won’t ask you to sing but I'll have you know I admire musicians very much. My daughter is also a singer. Very talented. How nice that you can spend their careers and vacations together.” 

“Well we’ve been on break so we haven’t actually been seeing each other that much anyway. I guess this is just the right timing,” Sara said. 

“Yeah we don’t actually spend that much time together outside of music,” Tegan said. Not really sure why. 

Sara gave her a hesitant glance, like she could sense something off about the statement. “That’s not really true,” She said lightheartedly, but with a hint of warning. 

Tegan only shrugged. What she meant was that they didn’t spend _as much time as she would like_ outside of music. 

“Well it’s still nice. You must love eachother very much,” Francesca said, unaware of any other atmosphere in the room besides the pleasant one she had been building. 

“Oh sure,” Sara said. “We kid with each other, but we really do love each other.” She tried to catch Tegan’s eye, but Tegan was simply gazing down into her glass, before sending their host fake smiles.

Fernan poured them all more rounds of a different wine, and Francesca elegantly explained the proper way to drink them. Sara followed the movements that the woman demonstrated, taking the glass to her nose and stirring it to catch all the scents. Her mind was mostly focused on Tegan though. Her sister hadn’t taken her eyes off their beautiful host. She looked way too happy to talk to Francesca, it was much different than how she would speak to Fernan. Pleasant, but not as overly polite. Even if she wasn’t aware of it herself she was demanding some attention from the woman. 

_That’s fine_ Sara thought. She’s allowed to think women are attractive. She can’t help it and it’s not like she was flirting or anything. 

Her thoughts were broken when she heard a tiny meow. She turned to see a kitten, small and fuzzy peer at the table from the entryway of the dining room. 

“Oh, kitty,” Sara pointed out. Tegan looked and smiled at the small creature.

“Oh my god,” She said. “It’s adorable.”

“That’s teddy,” Hernan exclaimed. “His mother is a barn cat, but Teddy here likes hanging out around the house.”

“He’s very friendly,” Francesca said. “If you want, I bet he’d let you pet him.”

Sara didn’t need to be given any more permission than that and slinked out of her chair, approaching the kitten with caution. Tegan watched as she crouched down and tried to gain Teddy’s attention with wiggling her wingers and cooing in her baby voice. Tegan couldn’t help but laugh to herself when she heard Sara speak like that. It was so cute. 

“How long have you known each other?”

“Thirty seven years,” Tegan spoke without thinking, too distracted from watching Sara. 

“Really? You two are a very lovely couple,” Francesca told her

Tegan froze, glancing from Francesca and then sharply at Sara who didn’t seem to hear. A nervous laugh was ripped from her chest. “No,” She shook her head. “No. That’s,” She felt a sudden awkwardness at introducing Sara as her sister. “We’re sisters,” She explained with some trouble. 

Francesca looked between the women, to Sara who was still fussing with the cat and to Tegan who was awkwardly sitting by her. 

“Oh my,” She said. “Now that i’m getting a good look at you, you two do look alike. My god, that’s embarrassing,” She laughed.

Tegan didn’t know how to respond. Her mind was still whirring from the information that somebody had seen them and seen a couple. 

“Don’t mind her. She thinks every twosome that comes through here is a couple,” Hernan said after a loud laugh. 

“Well it’s a very romantic place you know. My business thrives off couples.” 

“No, that’s okay.” Though it looked like Francesca wasn’t bothered by her mistake in the least and had a demeanor of _could happen to anyone_. Tegan was the only one shaken up about it. Though she knew if Sara had been in earshot or paying more attention, she might have been in a similar mindset as herself. 

Sara joined the table, thoroughly happy from her time with the little kitten and took her seat by Tegan who was still stuck in that moment of awkwardness. 

“He’s so cute,” Sara gushed. “Tegan you have to pet him before we leave, he’s even tinier than I thought, and such soft fur.” 

Thankfully, nobody brought the incident up to Sara and the conversation flowed back in it’s normal course. Glasses of wine shared between the two sisters with careful instruction on what to look for in each new taste. 

When it was time to leave they thanked and said goodbye to Francesca with tipsy sheens painted across their cheeks. 

“You two are adorable, come back again someday.”

They had two more stops that took the rest of the day. A wine gallery where they had all sorts of wine held in barrels in an airconditioned room. Unlike the vineyard they were accompanied by other tourists. Mostly couples. Tegan wondered if Sara noticed. By the time they were done with that and then the small bistro that was hidden away busy Firo where they got to pair wines with different foods. 

The more wine that flowed through Tegan’s system the more she was less afraid of being another couple amongst couples. She hoped Sara didn’t tell that she was purposefully letting their arms brush, sticking close to feel the warmth of Sara’s pink face against her own. Maybe Sara could tell but she wouldn’t say because maybe she liked it too. The feel of Tegan close while surrounded by others. 

Hernan got them safely home, bidding them a goodbye followed by, “be good.” Which probably meant to be wise in their current tipsy states but Tegan took the phrase to mean something else. To be good around Sara. To be good as a sister. 

They had eaten a little bit here and there but they were still hungry and Sara was glad that Tegan suggested spaghetti. Neither felt like they were capable of going out again that evening so they settled in their villa and opened the wine from their first night. 

“This is already our second wine party,” Sara mused, holding the bottle up to inspect the label better. “Third if you count the entire day.”

“What other kind of parties would we be having?”

“You got me there.”

“Here,” Tegan takes the bottle from Sara. “Lets get dinner started and I’ll pour us a glass.”

Making pasta was a joint effort. Sara mixed together Italian ground beef and some tomato sauce, no matter how simple the ingredients, it smelled delightful, filling the villa with a savory smell. Tegan boiled the pasta, making sure to stir it now and then.

“I’m gonna let it simmer a bit,” Sara told tegan after she had mixed up the sauce and beef. “I’d like another glass please,” she says while licking a small smudge of sauce from her finger. “Oh, that’s good,” she says.

“Yeah?” Tegan asks, abandoning her pasta to inspect Saras finger, holding her wrist.

“No,” Sara warns, but laughs anyway, trying to free herself. Tegan makes it like she’s about to take Sara’s finger into her mouth, causing her sister to squeal and squirm in her arms. “Tegan! No!”

Rather than take Sara’s finger into her mouth like she desperately wants to do she bends down to give it a little peck, a smidge of sauce clinging to her bottom lip.

“You brat,” Sara playfully pushing Tegan away, but even the little push isn’t enough to create all that much distance and the two are still close together, their body heat and the heat of the stove all present. Tegan is still gleaming, laughing at Sara’s attempted escape. 

“Why do you like to make me squirm so much?” Sara asks, and either she’s drunk or Tegan’s drunk but she feels the question sit still like a well laid out trap. The way Sara had just tried so hard to escape from her but still lingered close, her chest seeking out Tegan’s. Tegan has seen this sort of look before, this sort of behavior. She doesn't know whether to ignore it or not. It’s only been a few days and she feels like she can’t take any of this.

Tegan watches her sister’s flushed smile for a second long before turning away. 

“Some wine?” 

It’s not exactly an abrasive stop, but it’s enough of a warning to Sara. Sara sees the small amount of distance and only offers a pensive nod before stepping away. Tegan pours them each a glass while Sara makes them up two bowls of pasta. They stand together doing their respective tasks, suddenly quiet. 

Tegan had seen that intent in Sara’s eyes. It was something she cherished and cursed. She felt like the ship tattooed on Sara’s arm, a boat clinging to rocky waters only for waves trying to bury it. 

There are more channels with english than they expected, and find a random movie for some background noise while they eat. It’s easy to fall back into casual chit chat. 

“Pasta is always so good,” Tegan groaned after a big bite. 

Sara agrees, nodding her head while chewing. 

It’s not long before their bowls are empty and their glasses are refilled. The tv lost their interest before they had even finished their meals. 

The wine had really started to stir in a warm buzz within them, all the samplers adding up throughout the evening. Sara thought about Tegan, who put some distance between them when Sara had wanted to eliminate the space between their bodies. It had shocked her, for Tegan to say no to her. Was it that woman that Tegan was seeing? Sara wanted to doubt it. It was her own understanding that Tegan would always be waiting for her. She always knew Tegan would someday grow impatient with her, but the fact that she was beginning to see it for real caused a panic to stir within her. 

“How are things at home?” Sara asked as casually as she could. 

Tegan shrugged. “Good. Fine,” She said. Then, seeing Sara’s questioning glance she said, “You mean with-”

“Yes,” Sara answered before Tegan could say that woman’s name. 

“Good,” Tegan said, and smiling, added, “Fine.”

“That’s good,” Sara said awkwardly, drinking her wine to avoid saying anything more unnecessary.

She could tell Tegan was staring at her, but she refused to acknowledge it. She felt as if the things holding her together were beginning were growing old and starting to crumble. Someday she would have a dilapidated soul tired from all the pull, but she would try to take care of herself for now because she had other people she needed to love other than Tegan. 

“That woman, Francesca, thought we were dating,” Tegan suddenly says. 

This time Sara does face Tegan. “How do you know?”

“She told me. She told me we were a lovely couple.”

Sara doesnt know if she should laugh or not, but she does. “How does that happen?”

Tegan shrugs. “No idea. I’m glad you weren't paying attention to see how awkward it was.”

She looked hesitant, like she was testing Sara somehow. Sara didn’t know what to say so she didn’t say anything. She wondered if people had been looking at them all day and wondering if they were a couple or not. No one seemed to pay attention to anybody else, they were merely bodies floating in the same space. 

The night grew still, and weariness weighed down on the sisters as they finished off the wine. Tegan’s blinking had become slower and almost fell asleep multiple times.

“Tegan,” Sara murmured. “We should go to bed.” 

“I’ll just sleep here,” Tegan sighed, her eyes closing as she settled into the couch. 

“No. Come on, the room is like three feet away.”

“Still pretty far.”

Sara scooted closer. “Hey.” She gently shook Tegan’s shoulder. “Bedtime, come on.”

Tegan smiled at the hassling and Sara knew she was just being difficult on purpose. She pushed Tegan, making her sister laugh. 

Tegan’s eyelids lifted and she was looking at Sara. Her smile was tipsy and peaceful. It made Sara pause, her hand still grasping onto Tegan’s shoulder. 

“It’s bedtime?” Tegan asked.

“Yeah.”

Tegan seemed lost in her own thoughts before, “Can I sleep with you?” 

Sara felt her demeanor tense. She hadn’t expected that from Tegan when she thought she had been subtly pushing distance between them all day. 

“I wanna lay with you. I want you to hold me again.” 

Sara bit her lip in thought, surprised at how Tegan could just lay her wants out in the open.

“You did on our first night. I didn’t even have to ask, you just did it.”

Sara looked away shyly. “I was trying to get you to sleep.”

“I need your help again.”

“Yeah right, you’ve had enough wine to help you sleep already.”

Tegan nudged herself towards Sara, leaning in her personal space just as Sara did in the kitchen. “Sara,” she whispered. “Please.” 

Maybe it would only scare her away to cling too close but she couldn’t help it. She left no space between them. Their thighs, the sides of their tummies, their breasts, were squished together. Her arm reached around to hold Sara’s shoulders, and she let her hand feel the tender muscle of her sister’s shoulder. It was so difficult trying to figure out how she wanted to be Sara. 

“I love it when you hold me. I feel safer than ever.” Tegn confessed.

The quiet between words washes over them in what feels like slow motion. Tegan can still hear all of Sara’s little soft breaths, and can feel the rise and fall of her chest. Sara must be thinking too hard because she’s too quiet. It worries Tegan so she leans in closer, gently nudging Sara.

“Sara?” She asks. 

“Maybe we shouldn’t get this drunk so often,” Sara said, absent mindlessly. 

“Why is that? Am I being too annoying?” Tegan half joked. She knew she got clingy when she drank.

“Because all night, all I can think about is kissing you.”

There was a strike of silence. 

Sara had said that in such a casual way that Tegan had to try and make sure she wasn’t imagining it. But from what she observed from Sara, she had said it. She knew because of how she was crawling into herself, her arms wrapping around her body and her eyes refusing to meet Tegans. She had said the truth.

Tegan didn’t want to play this game anymore, pretending that she didn’t need Sara. If Sara was allowed to say it then Tegan was allowed to do it.

She leans over, her hand moving up to Sara’s firm jaw so she can face her. Sara’s eyes meet her own and she falls into those brown eyes. But Tegan stops just before her lips can touch Sara’s.

Sara whimpers when she feels how close they are, but Tegan can only shake her head before planting an innocent kiss on her sister’s hot cheek. 

“You’re right. We shouldn’t drink so much.” And she leaves a confused Sara on the living room floor as she walks to their shared room so she can slip under the covers of her bed. 

She’s not tired enough not to kick off her pants and unclip her bra, and she’s not tired enough to fall asleep without mourning the kiss Sara had basically offered her. Tegan would have loved to kiss her, it had been so long, but she knew how this game went. How they would indulge in the small acts of intimacy only for Sara to give her another speech about how they can’t keep doing this. She has to convince herself that she doesn't need Sara in that way, but she can’t seem to believe that.

Tegan sighs sadly, missing Sara in every way possible. She feels her presence, can see the lights in the rooms turn off one by one until the place is lit by the blue glow of the moon. The glass door swings open quietly and Sara enters the room. Tegan doesn't pretend to be asleep, but she doesn’t say anything to Sara either. She can’t tell if Sara can see her lie awake.

She startles in surprise when Sara begins to strip. She gulps as she watches Sara undo the buttons of her slacks, letting them fall to the ground to step out of them, her skin is revealed to the moonlit room as she stands with only her cotton briefs and flowy shirt. “Move over,” she says softly.

Tegans heart goes dead but she does as she’s told. Had Sara seen her watching? Had she wanted her to watch?

“No. The other way, further to the wall,” Sara instructs. Tegan rolls off to the far end of her bed, frowning until Sara slips into her arms, her back to Tegan's front. Her butt nestles against Tegan’s groin, her back laying against her chest. 

“Just hold me okay?”

When she feels the hesitance in Tegan’s shaky hands, she grabs them, squeezing them. “Please,” She utters softly.

She couldn’t see Sara’s face, but her sister’s words were direct though crumbling around the edges. Tegan’s arms tightened around her waist. She nuzzled at the back of Sara’s head, her nose and cheek skimmed over Sara’s neck, her hair. She poured as much emotion as she could in those little movements because even Sara needed the small reassurance. 

Tegan didn’t fall asleep until she felt Sara still in her arms, the previous stiffness melting as she began to sleep. Tegan closed her eyes and tried to commit the feeling of Sara, her warmth, her breaths, her smell, to memory so that when she was sleeping, Sara might visit her dreams once again. 

Sara couldn’t describe what was happening to her. After all these years of wanting Tegan, the sudden isolation they found themselves in poked at Sara as it was nagging at her, telling her out of all the times in your life to surrender willpower, this is it. She could see that Tegan was going through the same whirlwind of thoughts. 

Sara fell asleep with a deep ache where tenderness bloomed around the bruises. 


	2. Crossing the Threshold

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just ran through spellcheck. couldn't find the the og final edited copy so some parts might seem off but I filled the blanks as best as I could.

ii.

Waking up in Tegan’s arms was suffocating. The air was stale, covering over them like an extra blanket (their actual blanket was riding low on their hips, Sara’s legs sticking out from the covers to feel some relief) and Tegan's arms were holding onto her right, like she was afraid Sara would leave. Despite all of this Sara wanted to stay trapped in her sister’s arms because it was the only comfort she was being offered this morning. 

She had woken with the heavy pressure of discomfort over her chest and the feeling that something had changed, but not knowing what. So much was stirring within her, most notably the feeling of regret. She had been so stupid to sully this trip with her stupid confession. 

_Because all night all I can think about is kissing you._

Sara could feel that heaviness stirring around them since their first night. She should have let it be, Tegan seemed to be okay with letting things simply be. Even if Tegan knew how she felt, it was one thing to say it into existence. 

She grabbed onto the hands holding onto her sides, having her palms resting over the pointed knuckles and veins. Hands that had treated her tenderly and roughly at different points in her life. Sometimes Sara can still feel the sting of Tegan's shocked slaps burning her cheek. At that unwanted memory, Sara wiggles around, turning in her sister’s arms to face her. Tegan sleeps steadily, her once fluffy hair coming up in messy strands. She kisses just under her right eye, kissing where there used to be a light bruise. 

Bony Fingers twitched under her own and she knew Tegan was waking up. She kept still, listening to Tegan sigh. Fingers pressed into her tummy for a moment.

“Sara?” Tegan gently whispered.

She debated whether pretending to be asleep, but it was too difficult to ignore Tegan’s call. 

“I’m awake,” Sara replied just as quietly. 

Tegan didn’t say anything after that, almost like she wasn’t expecting Sara to be awake. She burrowed herself more into her back, holding on even tighter. Sara felt hot breath on the back of her neck and she felt dirty when she felt herself grow wet. 

Last night it had looked like Tegan was going to kiss her. She wanted to ask her why she changed her mind, but couldn’t bring herself to do so. 

Silence carried on for a long time. No one moved or spoke and Sara was left to feel Tegan’s comforting presence pressing against her back while confusion weighed heavily on her thoughts. 

Her ringing phone instantly shattered the calm atmosphere, and Sara reached for it to see that it was Stacey who knocked at their fortress of solitude. 

A familiar sense of shame digs into Sara at seeing the reminder of her girlfriend, when these past few days, the only woman on her mind was her own sister. 

“I have to take this,” Sara said, no room for arguments in her voice. 

Tegan let go of her waist, leaving Sara to feel cold despite the muggy heat. Before she left the room she chanced a look at Tegan who was now laying by herself, her arms folded underneath her head as she stared at the ceiling in contemplation. 

“Tell Stacey I said hi,” Tegan told her, like she was subtly reminding her of something. 

Sara’s shame bubbled into anger at Tegan. She left the room, shutting the door so harshly, she thought the glass on it would shatter. 

“Hey honey how are you doing?”

Stacey's voice was enough to calm her down, and she felt the tension in herself ease. She sighed against the receiver, even when the walls were closing in, her girlfriend was a comforting presence. It reminded her there were other people in her life she loved besides Tegan.

“I’m doing okay. It’s been a pretty lazy morning so far.”

“Oh? A lazy day in Greece?” 

“Mhmm. How are you doing?”

“Same old same old, the kids miss you by the way.”

Sara’s heart melted when the cats were mentioned. “I miss them too. Tell them for me alright?”

“Sure thing sweety,” Stacey chuckled. 

“I miss you too,” Sara said. “So much.” It was the truth. When navigating the complicated maze of her feelings for Tegan, she desperately missed the reassurance of her normal life back home.

“Babe, it’s only a few more days and i’m all yours. What’s the matter? Are you and Tegan getting along?”

“Yeah, we’re getting along just fine. I think.”

“You think?” 

“It’s always complicated with Tegan.”

“It always is with family.”

Sara hummed. She wished. If all families were like her and Tegan she wouldn't feel the way she did. Like she was always wandering around in her body as her soul tried to break out from all directions. 

Just like tegan was called to that wandering confusion, she entered the kitchen. She stood by the counter, close to Sara’s side. It seemed she entered her space for the sole reason of being near her. She crossed her arms, looking down to the floor while listening. If it was a tactic to get Sara to get off the phone, it was working. She felt that pull. It felt wrong to be talking to Stacey somehow. She never felt this way when tegan and her were in the same room, even conversing with each other but while Sara was across the world with tegan in this villa suite, it felt like she was hiding even more when she retreated to Stacey.

“Stacey, I have to go, but I love you okay?” “I love you too, I’m glad you called.” When Sara hung up, Tegan scorched closer, their hips almost touching. “You didn’t tell her I said hi, did you.” “Slipped my mind.” “We should do something. It feels suffocating.” So tegan could feel it too. If she was so suffocated why was she so close. “There’s really nothing to do. We sort of slept in. We blew it.” “Since she does the sun have to be up to go out?” Tegans tone was infectious. Sly. Did she really want to leave their suite?

“What do you have in mind?”

“Anything. Let’s just go.”

Sara examined Tegan who was acting strange. She seemed like she was in a hurry to remove the private walls away from themselves yet she, unconsciously or not, was slowly erasing the space between them. 

Sara thought for a moment. If she couldn’t have Tegan in the way she wanted, they might as well make the most out of this trip. Maybe if she distracted herself enough she would forget that Tegan rejected her.

“Let me get ready,” She told her.

Tegan nodded, that same smile plastered on her face. 

When they left the villa, the evening was fresh, the sky painted orange and the streets full. Families and quiet couples were just coming up from their busy days in Fira and were ready to wind down in sleepy Firostefani as the sisters walked down to the city. Both were in breezy pants, Tegan in a light tee and Sara in a light button-up. The cotton of her shirt was crisp white, and light enough that Tegan could make out the dark tattoos on her forearms, and the light bra she had underneath it. She felt the itching need to let her hand settle over the small of Sara’s back to feel the hint of skin behind the thin cotton, but refrained herself by shoving her hands in her pockets. By the time they were walking the main streets of Fira, her hands were all sweaty and hot. 

They had an early dinner at a busy restaurant where they were surrounded by loud groups of people. The restaurant overlooked the sea, and they made small commentary and watched the boats as they ate. Their talking felt empty, like they were saying words just to fill up an empty space. Sara hated it, she didn’t want to even talk if it was all going to be meaningless, but Tegan seemed to need to paint over the silence with talk. Sara just went along, hoping things could go back to normal, whatever normal was. 

People flocked to watch the sunset all over the island. Everyday the sunset had been a big deal for the tourists as they watched the sky glow as it’s sun was pulled into the cerulean blue sea. And when only traces of the sun were on the horizon like a distant memory and the sky was a dark blue, all the tourists clapped and cheered in appreciation. This had happened everyday and Tegan and Sara had looked on in amusement, but when Sara peaked a glance to Tegan, her sister looked on with apathy, her face resting in her hand. Their eyes caught and Sara chanced a small smile which Tegan lifelessly returned. 

Their conversations dimmed down as the night crawled in. Sara didn’t know what they were doing, Tegan was walking from place to place, carefully examining items in the store like she was trying to waste time. Sara felt hopeless. 

More stores were closing and street lights were shining onto the stone paths as the sky turned darker. Music from restaurants and clubs could be heard faintly in the streets. Sara wanted to go back to the villa. She wanted to go back home to Stacey and forget about that chunk in her heart that Tegan occupied. 

They had walked to a corner of the city where people were pushing past them and laughter and heavy hard bass was thumping. Lights shot out from beyond clay walls in the distance, a line formed at the entrance, and it became clear it was a club. People could be seen drinking on the balconies of the place. 

“Looks fun,” Tegan commented. “Wanna go?”

“How on earth does that look fun to you? Since when do you go to clubs?”

“Don’t you want to do things that you don’t normally do? It's a vacation.”

Sara wanted to point out that she _did_ want to do things she didn’t normally do, but it didn’t look like they were talking about those things right now so she kept her mouth shut. 

“Come on,” Tegan said, her hand suddenly coming to rest on Sara’s lower back. She could feel the heat of Tegan’s palm on her and without thinking she let herself be pushed to the line, Tegan by her side. 

Tegan’s fingers strayed for a moment more, rubbing at the indent in her back before disappearing. 

“I can already see that it looks busy as hell,” Sara croaked, for lack of anything else to say. 

Looking around more, it was mostly a lot of young people. The dance floor was outside beyond the entrance and she felt her heart drop into her stomach at the sea of bodies, grinding and drinking. 

Tegan noticed the stunned look in Sara’s eyes. “Just channel your inner teenager.”

Sara rolled her eyes, and stuck even closer to Tega. It seemed okay to do so. She had no idea why she was going along with this. Maybe she was just letting Tegan ride out this mood, but she was already regretting it.

Once they got past the bouncer and into the open area, Tegan immediately pulled them towards the bar, pushing past all the dancing bodies. Even though they were outside it felt like there was a roof of booze and hormones above them. 

Both had ordered drinks, but Sara had stopped drinking much earlier than Tegan had. It became obvious Tegan was trying to get lost in something and with drink after drink she became more care-free, her worry disappearing as she watched the dancefloor and stuck closer to Sara. 

“Want something?” Tegan yelled over the heavy bass. 

“No. Tegan, maybe we should go. This is really not our kind of scene.’

Once Tegan was handed her drink at the bar she gravitated back towards Sara, throwing her arm around her shoulders and pulling her close so she could talk near her ear. 

“Why don’t we dance?” Tegan asked. 

“I don’t want to.”

Sara could smell the alcohol coming from Tegan’s breath. 

“No?” Tegan asked, suddenly her lips close to Sara’s flushed ear. 

Sara felt her heart jump, and squirmed away from her sister. “No. Finish your drink and let’s go.”

Tegan didn’t say anything and simply shrugged. She watched Sara, who was looking out to the dance floor in aggravation. 

“I’m dancing,” She declared, before pushing her way into the dancing crowd. 

Sara sighed in exasperation, slumping against the bar and wishing she could just disappear. She waited until the music was digging into her temples before walking away from the counter, intent on finding and dragging Tegan out of here.

It was a lot of pushing and shoving. Strings of lights decorated the walls around them, but it still felt incredibly dark. She paused when she caught sight of her sister. She was grinning widely, her body close with another, a woman who seemed thrilled to have Tegan’s attention. 

Sara was honestly surprised that her tipsy sister had retreated to a dance with a stranger, and she watched stunned from afar before she had to butt in when the stranger was moving against Tegan in such a distasteful way. 

“Tegan,” Sara raised her voice against the aggressive music. 

When her sister didn’t hear, Sara grabbed hold of her shoulder. Tegan turned to her. “Hey,” She said. 

“Do you mind? I need to talk to my sister,” Sara told the girl who looked between the twins before timidly stepping away. 

“What’s up?” Tegan asked, grabbing hold of Sara now that her hands were empty. 

Caught off guard, Sara gripped onto Tegan’s upper arms for balance, having no choice but to sway with her as she danced. 

“I was coming to get you so we can go home. I think you’ve had enough fun, wouldn’t you?”

“What do you mean by that?” 

They had to lean over each other so they could hear themselves over the club. 

“Dancing with that woman. You should be more careful.” Sara tried to swallow the bitterness she felt. 

“I wasn’t going to do anything. I wasn’t even flirting.”

“Did she know that?”

“Sara,” Tegan laughed, grabbing her sister by the waist to drag her closer. “It’s just dancing.”

Sara didn’t know if Tegan was referring to the random girl or them. They had both begun to sway to the music, clunky and unorganized because a tipsy Tegan was leading an apprehensive Sara through the movements. 

They hardly ever danced together besides playful dancing when drunk but even that was rare and they were always surrounded by rowdy friends. 

“You have to be careful. You could’ve thought it was just dancing, but anyone else could get the wrong idea.” 

Sara had tried to gently take Tegan away from the dance floor to sit her down, but Tegan was relentless. Anytime Sara seemed to be moving away from her, she would get a better hold, dripping onto tighter. Soon there was nowhere to go but into Tegan’s arms. Her hold on her sister was no longer trying to push her away, instead her arms settled around her neck. 

Tegan seemed surprised in her tipsy glow and grinned at the new closeness Sara had created.

“So is this just dancing? Or did you get the wrong idea?” Tegan asked, jokingly, not seeming to understand how much distress Sara was under.

Sara didn’t find it funny. She wondered if the people around them, if they were to even pay attention, would think they were sisters or lovers. Tegan never seemed to care if people got the wrong idea.

It was easy to press her body against Tegans’, easy fist her t-shirt, holding onto her, but not really. Tegan made it easy because she wasn’t taking Sara seriously. She was having too much fun and here Sara was, trying to protect her sister, worrying over her.

Tegan’s carefree grin slipped when she felt the front of Sara’s chest push against her own, and suddenly the thumping of the club was pounding over her body like a hammer. 

When Tegan started to look like a deer caught in the headlights, that’s when Sara smiled, a self indulgent smile that shook Tegan to the core.

When Sara felt Tegans hands slip from her waist, she gave her a soft but warning squeeze on the shoulder. “No,” she apprehended. “Leave them there.”

To answer Tegans questioning look, she said, “we're just dancing right?”

Tegan obeyed, holding onto her sister's hips once more. “Yeah,” She murmured. “Just dancing.”

“Hm?” Sara presses against Tegans cheek, her words tickling her from cheekbone to her red ear. 

Tegan only shakes her head. She didn’t know how to act around this Sara. She didn’t see her drink all that much but she had to be drunk. Drunk enough to throw their unspoken rules away. 

They held each other through the music, escorting each other through their dancing. They weren’t dancing provocatively but the closeness of their bodies made it seem too sensual, especially since this was contact they rarely had. They didn’t know how much they missed and craved this warmth until they somehow found themselves in these sorts of positions. 

It got worse and worse when the music became more thunderous and dripping. Sara pushed against Tegan, pressing and going until Tegan began to copy her. They were reenacting how Tegan was dancing with that random girl. Sara wasn’t overreacting when the jealous chill crawled through her. This dancing, the dark room and lowlights, the heat of everybody, it was arousing. You couldn’t help but feel the ache of the club, and Sara couldn’t help feel an ache for her sister.

It was always there, sleeping quietly but present. This was one of those times where it woke up, suddenly aware of Tegan. All week she could feel it starting to wake up.

They faced each other, grounding each other in what they knew was a crossing of boundaries. Sara had wanted to tease Tegan, maybe punish her for a while but now she felt as if she was punishing herself as well.

And it seemed Tegan was growing more bold when she became sure that they were both floating in the same sensations. Having the same ideas. 

Tegan didn’t look carefree, she didn’t look scared, she just looked serious. Sara wondered how she looked herself. Probably just as serious. 

The beat which had been vibrating, thumping ended and switched to something calmer. This is when they realized just how close they gravitated towards each other and how much friction they had created between themselves.

They awkwardly put some space between themselves when reality came closing in, back to the rigid swaying of their bodies.

“Uhm. Maybe we should head back to the villa,” Tegan said. “It’s getting late.” 

The club was still clattering with loud music and the commotion of the people, but it seemed that the sisters were floating through some slower place. 

Tegan seemed to have her guard up. She looked almost pained as she looked into Sara’s eyes. Sara nodded a bit absent mindedly, her body still clinging to Tegan, not yet ready to seperate. “Yeah, it’s getting late,” She agreed, though the words were shallow when it seemed that they were the only ones on the entire island that were ready to call it a night. Everybody around them was still shaking the club with energy and enthusiasm. 

Sara’s hands left Tegan, and they walked slowly away from the dancefloor toward the door. They were in sync stepwise but their souls were shaking. Shaking in all sorts of directions. They had both seen it happen slowly then very suddenly it collapsed on them.

When they were outside, walking through the muggy streets, music pouring from buildings so the bass still vibrated, even under the sky. Sara peaked at Tegan. They were walking as if everything was normal, but Sara did not feel normal.

“Don’t you like your girlfriend?” Sara suddenly asked.

Tegan gaped at her. She almost asked what Sara meant by that but if she was going to voice her thoughts so clearly then Tegan could only do the same. She sighed, watching the people around them who were all drunk, giddy, rushing from place to place. 

“I do. I like her very much.”

“Then why...with that girl.”

_Interesting,_ Tegan thought. Not _Then why with me._

“Even with Francesca. It’s like you’re distracted,” Sara continued. 

“I don’t know,” Tegan whispered. “Maybe I am distracted.”

They continued their walk, exiting the busy strip of restaurants and clubs into the quiet paths that sat between closed gift shops and other daytime buildings. Tegan was lost in her own thoughts, and followed Sara into an alleyway. Brick walls, black windows, and the moon leaking into a closed off path like a luminescent flashlight. 

When Sara’s footsteps petered off, stopping, Tegan stopped too, looking up to see her sister looking at her with this unreadable expression. 

“Why are you so distracted? And why do you keep trying to distract yourself even more?”

Tegan didn’t know how to answer that. They both knew why, Sara just wanted her to say it. 

Suddenly Tegan was pushed into the wall. She was caught off guard, but Sara’s confident push was still gentle as she was guided onto her back against the building. 

Sara stares, her expression searching, and for a moment Tegan thinks she’s about to be scolded again until Sara steps closer to her, eliminating all space between them. The feel of their bodies pressed together makes Tegan lose her voice, all she can do is stare back in question. If she were to ask Sara what she was doing, her voice would be horse with arousal no doubt. She fights the need to grind herself into Sara. And Sara was fisting her shirt with more urgency, staring at her intensely. This was not their dance, uncertain and playful. 

“Sara…” Tegan was taken aback. A dark club with a sea of bodies buzzing with alcohol was one thing, but now they were out in the open, out in public where anyone could walk by them or spot them. They weren’t even doing anything but anybody who chanced upon them would be able to see something and that was always something they were careful about whether they had something to hide or not. 

“It’s all I can think about right now,” Sara gritted out, her eyes falling from Tegans but still pushing against her as if she would slip away. “It’s not something I tried to do. This wasn’t the plan, but I can’t help it.”

“Can’t help what?”

“I just- I can’t stop thinking about us. Do you understand what I’m saying?” She knew Tegan understood her. She didn’t want to have to spell it out for her but she would.

Tegan cradled the back of Sara’s head, gently guiding her sister to face her again. “I understand,” Tegan replies tenderly. 

Sara melted under her soft eyes. She felt desperate, aggravated, and a little dizzy. There was something whispering around her head, it’s voice scratching against her psyche. The only way she knew how to stop it would follow her for ages as it always done. She was always walking around with pieces of Tegan. 

If Tegan was taken back before she was out right started when Sara made the small distance to press her lips against hers, a reckless but passionate kiss.

The feeling of kissing her sister under the bright moonlight in a quiet nook of cobblestone and old buildings was surreal. Tegan never knew when these sorts of things would happen again, when she would feel Sara’s lips against hers, so she had to drink it up when it was offered, as if she had been dehydrated for years. She pulled Sara close to her, opening herself up so their tongues could reunite and slide against each other.

Both women moaned and squirmed against each other, consuming each other and holding the other close. It wasn’t long before their hips were rocking into each other, grinding. Tegan moaned when a steady rhythm of body-heat kept pouring into her.

Tegan had forgotten they were even outside or anywhere that existed until she felt Sara palm the front of her pants. She felt the warmth of her sister's palm scald through the thin cotton and a chill of the night air and hesitance creeped over her. 

“Sara,” she moaned, meaning to stop this, but the pressure on her mound wouldn’t allow her. 

The hand on her became more sly, crawling over to the button of her pants which she unbuttoned quickly so she could get closer to Tegan's heat source. She palmed at her damp panties, kneading at her hidden clit and lips. Tegan mindlessly rocked her hips into her sister's hand, letting out strangled moans.

“W-wait.” Tegan slapped her hand over Sara’s to stall her actions. She held her still as she caught her composure.

“Sara. What are you doing?”

The lustful mask slipped from Sara and like waking up from a dream she shook her head. “I… I thought you wanted to.”

When she could see the panic crawling around behind her sister's face, she grabbed at Sara, pulling her I for a reassuring kiss, quick and thoughtful. “I do,” she promised. “But, this is…” she looked around.

Sara also studies their surroundings. They were hidden in a quiet nook of town, but the sound of the bars and restaurants, people, were very present. “Yeah,” Sara nodded. She stepped away from Tegan, both instantly missing the warmth the other provided. 

“I’m sorry. I don’t know why I did that.” She noticed Tegan reach for the undid zipper of her pants, and reached out to move her hands away. “Let me.” It May have been risky, but Sara couldn’t stop coming up with reasons to have her hands on Tegan.

Tegans breath stilled as she watched her sister slowly drag the zipper of her pants back up, then her nimble fingers buttoned them back up. She gave a little smile. “There,” She said. “All better.”

No it wasn’t all better. Tegan felt more distressed than before. The pressure of Sara’s hands over her panties had her body begging for more, It was all her mind was filled with. 

“Can we go home?” She breathed out. 

“The villa?” Sara asked.

“Yeah.”

Without thinking Tegan had referred to the villa they were temporarily staying at as their home. She didn’t mean to, it was just a slip, but it sat on her mind like a brick and before she could further contemplate it, Sara took a hold of her hand, leading her away from the wall and out of the alleyway. 

“I’m sorry again,” Sara whispered, as if somebody would be able to know exactly what she was sorry about.

Tegan shook her head. “Don’t worry about it,” She replied equally as quiet. She was thinking about their hands which were entangled. Both of their palms were a little sweaty, possibly from the club’s heat, possibly from nerves. 

Without saying a word Sara let go of Tegan’s hand when they were back on the streets that ran through Fira where people walked alongside them, walking into and away from the nightlife. Tegan missed the contact. She let her hand stay near Sara’s, not grabbing hold of it, just letting it hang near, occasionally their knuckles or fingers would brush against each other as they walked. Tegan waited for Sara to throw her a disapproving look but Sara was quiet. She let Tegan’s hand sneak love letters through her subtle touches. 

In simple words, they were walking back to the villa but it felt as though they were walking somewhere far more important. Tegan knew exactly what awaited behind their closed doors yet a mysterious feeling still plagued her. Agitation walked alongside anticipation and Tegan desperately wanted to grab a hold of Sara and ask her what she was thinking. No matter how many times this sort of thing happened she still went through the same rollercoaster of emotions. 

The walk up to the town where they were staying was a silent one. Both knew any words shared between them would be artificial and fake. Just empty words trying to soothe reality. They passed by many couples, and even though they were not touching, even though they tried to seem as casual and unknowing of each other's presence, they felt like every couple they passed had something in common with themselves. They were all sharing something. Tegan blushed when she remembered the woman at the vineyard, how she thought she and Sara were a couple. 

The villa was lively. People hung around the hottub that was outside, it’s water glowing with fluorescent lights and bubbling like a cauldron. People still sat at the bar and chatter flocked all around the structure. _It’s getting late_ Tegan had said. What a liar. She couldn’t decipher if she was scared or impatient when she uttered those words. 

Wordlessly Sara opened their door, letting Tegan enter before she followed and shut them off from the rest of the island. 

Tegan went to turn on the light, but Sara stopped her. “Don’t,” She had said, so much desperation in that one word. Tegan obeyed, her arm falling limp against her side. She watched Sara in the darkness, saw her figure highlighted with the moonlight. It was strange to feel so hidden when she could hear the laughter of people beyond their walls, could see bright lights glow outside the windows. 

Was Tegan allowed to talk now? Was she supposed to wait for Sara’s mark as always? Sara looked just as unsure. It was almost like their first time. 

“Tegan,” Sara uttered. “Come here. Please.”

Tegan walked past the small hallway into the living room, her body being pulled along by Sara’s soft voice. Meeting Sara in the living room was like swimming for hours but finally reaching the shore. 

“Closer,” Sara pleaded. 

Tegan inched closer, mere centimeters standing between them. Their breaths hit each other's cheeks.

Sara shook her head. “Not close enough.”

Tegan took one terse step towards Sara and in that small distance, her right foot nestled between Sara’s own feet, like a tentative dip in the water, just testing the temperature. Their chests pushed against each other and their shoulders touched. 

Tegan’s cheeks were taken into her sisters hands. She closed her eyes for a moment, relishing in the feeling of Sara’s moist palms. 

“Please don't be nervous, let’s not waste time being nervous _,_ ” Sara whispered. 

Tegan didn’t think she was a cowardly person, but being pressed close to Sara in this way made her feel afraid. When she opened her eyes, she was met with Sara’s begging gaze. 

Sara moaned when their lips pressed in a passionate kiss. Tegan’s hands which had been idle, raised up to feel Sara’s hips, hugging her close so that their fronts sat together in a daring embrace. Both could feel the ache of the other. Sara was holding onto both sides of Tegan’s jaw but she had no part in directing the kiss, rather her hands held on and followed as Tegan pressed closer and closer, pressing their lips together with fervor, like she was drinking Sara up. 

They were soon grinding against each other just like at the club. Sara burned with embarrassment and arousal thinking about how intimate they had been in the midst of all those people. She felt herself getting wetter and wetter, her clit aching against her panties as shame at her actions washed over her. Her need, which had been growing all night, was making her desperate. Her tongue seeked out Tegan’s, stroking and caressing it until she felt drool drip down the corner of her lip. It wasn’t until she released Tegan’s mouth that she realized she needed to breathe. Ragged panting filled the room. Sara could swear she saw their breaths in the air like hot mist, but her vision could have just been clouded with arousal. 

Tegan didn’t want to break the atmosphere but she had to say it. “I’ve been thinking about this the whole time,” She confessed though her heavy breathing. She would have gladly suffocated if Sara decided to never separate their lips.

“I know,” Sara said. “I could tell.” Then, after a moment of quiet contemplation. “I was too.”

They kissed again, like they were sealing their confessions.

Just like she had taken Tegan’s hand in the alleyway, she gingerly took hold of both of Tegan’s wrists, lifting them from her waist and holding onto them as she led the both of them onto the couch where they sat facing each other. 

Sara had no idea what to do. To take Tegan and pour all her passion into her because there was simply too much of it stirring in her body for just herself, or to beg Tegan to take her. There was a scorching fire between her legs, it’s smoke travelling up to her chest and suffocating her. She wanted Tegan to stroke and enter her until the fire withered out. 

Their living room window looked out to the edges of cliffs where the ocean glimmered under the moon, it’s glow sitting with the shadows in the room. Tegan looked captivated as she traced all of Sara’s features with her soft eyes. 

Sara thought about how Tegan looked when she was pushed against the alleyway wall. She didn't look confused, just desperate to be touched. If they had stayed in the alleyway, Sara would have fucked Tegan against the wall, and when she would come with Sara’s fingers stuffed in her cunt, Sara would have instantly dropped to her knees to suck her off, drinking all the arousal that dripped down her thighs and pooled between her folds.

The fantasy made her rub her thighs together. She never let her imagination get away from her in this way, so everything was just so intense. She felt filthy, wanting to hump and slide against Tegan until that fire was gone. 

She pressed sloppy wet kisses onto Tegan’s strong neck, licking along the tendons and nibbling the point where neck met jaw. Tegan groaned at the sensations, realizing how much she missed Sara’s mouth and tongue. 

Sara pulled away, stripping off her shirt which was heavy with all the night’s sweat. She wanted Tegan to know where this was all going, what she wanted. She kicked her pants off, and just like that she was in her underwear. 

“You too,” Sara said, pinching at the fabric of Tegan’s shirt.

She complied, her eyes hardly straying from Sara while she stripped. Both watched the others body, the curves, taunt muscle, smooth skin. Tegans bra was similar to Sara’s own, black and plain, comfort over substance.

Sara couldn’t help herself, and searched for Tegan’s lips. They could hear each other's desperate breaths mix with the soft smacking of her lips and the sound of the ocean’s waves.

Sara threw her arms over Tegans shoulders, pulling her sister close to her. Tegan was hesitant yet eager, always asking permission with her mouth and shaky touch. Tegan held onto her waist, her fingers pressing into her skin. Occasionally she would touch Sara somewhere else, creeping up her back, feeling the line of her spine, holding her shoulders, brushing her fingers into the fringe of her hair, like she was memorizing her. That’s exactly how she kissed, like she didn’t want to ever forget it. 

She moaned into the kiss when their bodies meshed together, breasts against breasts, thighs against thighs. Sara sofly nibbled at Tegan’s bottom lip, making her pur. She pulled away, catching all the breath Tegan was stealing from her and smiled at Tegan’s expression. Slack jawed and foggy eyed, desperate to bring their lips back together. 

Sara grinned. “Do you like kissing me?” She asked playfully. 

Tegan nodded, totally serious before breaking into her own grin. Sara leaned over again, giving Tegan one innocent smooch on the cheek before gently pushing Tegan away. She stood up and seeing Tegan’s confused expression, held out her hand.

“Come here,” Sara beckoned. So Tegan was again led by Sara. Hand in hand. 

Tegan’s mind burned with so many questions. She was wound up with desire, but was hesitant to express that desire to Sara. There was still the uncertain part in her brain that told her Sara was disgusted by this. Even when they were holding hands and she was being so sweet and open. 

They walked into the bedroom where Sara let go of Tegan’s hand. She sat on her own bed, sitting on the edge and watching Tegan who stood in the room, nervously waiting for more instruction. Sara simply waved her over, spreading her legs, hoping Tegan could see how much she really wanted her in bed with her. 

Tegan crawled over to the spot next to her, letting their shoulders kiss. Sara stole Tegan’s hand, bringing it to her lap so they could hold hands. Tegan laughed when Sara did that, not unkindly but surprised. She squeezed Sara’s hand in affection. She loved how much she was able to touch Sara this trip, she never wanted to stop touching her, embracing her, kissing her, even just holding her hand. 

Sara nudged Tegan with her shoulder, letting her hand go. She brought their faces close again, giving Tegan time to see all her affection before their lips pressed together. Sara sighed a moan. “You should feel how you affect me,” She whispered into Tegan’s neck, kissing the skin there. 

“I want to feel.”

“Feel then.”

Sara maneuvered Tegan’s hand to her thigh, sliding it over the smooth skin to just above the waistband of her underwear. Tegan didn’t have to be guided. She let it settle over Sara’s open legs, her fingers nestling over covered lips. The fabric was soaked. Tegan moaned at the feeling. 

Soon Tegan’s hand slipped into her panties and was holding Sara’s mound, petting the hair there, her fingers feeling her soft lower lips. Her middle finger fit perfectly in Sara’s soaked folds. With every little movement Tegan’s hand made, Sara’s hips twitched and moved, burying Tegan deeper into her. Her palm pushed against Sara’s clit as her fingers rested in Sara’s heat. All her desire pooling around her hand. She let her hand move, slowly feeling all of Sara to the point where Sara was gasping at the teasing. Sara’s cunt was calling for her, begging her for some relief. Sara moaned when two fingers slipped inside. Tegan smiled as her fingers were squeezed by Sara’s warm walls. 

“God,” Sara moaned, leaning back, watching Tegan’s hand hidden in her underwear.

Sara brought her close for a filthy kiss, their tongues seeking eachother out and their lips molding against each other with such fervor. This kissing was familiar, reminding Tegan of drunk nights and random hookups, yet the used and dirty feeling those encounters usually filled her with did not make itself known. It felt desperate but meaningful. Like they were consuming each other. 

During the kiss, Sara removed tegans hand from her underwear, making Tegan miss the warm contact, the twitching of Sara’s clit against her palm. They separated, both looking down at tegans hand, cum coating her fingers. Making sure she had tegans attention, Sara brought her hand to her mouth, licking at the fingers covered in her own arousal. She wanted to taste how wet she was. Tegan’s middle and ring fingers were suckled on, Sara’s mouth cleaning her off. She was captivated by Sara’s plush lips wrapping around her fingers. 

Tegan was always surprised to see this side of Sara. There was a time where she never could have imagined her sister doing things like this, but now she felt her underwear grow damp to the point of uncomfort watching in awe.

Sara gave Tegan her hand back, and as soon as Sara’s mouth was free she claimed it for herself, the taste of Sara fully present and all consuming. 

“You taste good,” Tegan told her. 

“Uh huh,” Sara murmured. “Can I take this off?” She said, her finger playing with the strap of Tegan’s bra.

Tegan nodded. “Please.”

Sara leaned over, carefully removing tegans bra-strap from her shoulder, and removing the other one, she met Tegan’s eyes, asking if she could continue. Tegan nodded. Just a small flick of the wrist and the fabric covering Tegan fell to her lap. 

“Mm,” Sara let the back of her fingers graze over the slope of each pale breast, feeling Tegan’s hard nipples shiver under her knuckles. She leaned down to grace each breast with a small kiss. 

Sara unclipped her own bra, letting it briskly fall away from her body before pushing Tegan down to lie on the mattress. She couldn’t fuck Tegan against the alleyway wall, but she was was still going act out her fantasy and have her fingers in Tegan and then her tongue. 

She dropped to the floor to kneel between Tegan’s knees, her hands grasping onto her sister’s thighs. Tegan sat up on her elbows, her eyes glassed over as Sara rubbed the front of her underwear, petting her throbbing clit over the damp briefs. The legs of her underwear were short, showing off her round thighs.

Tegan almost couldn’t take it, her hips stuttered at the blunt pressure, but she wanted more, wanted to feel Sara’s skin over hers. She whimpered at the teasing. Sara looked as if she would draw it out if Tegan begged, so she bit her lip and tried to be patient. Sara smirked as she watched Tegan crack, she could feel her underwear grow damp with every press of her fingers, and when the smell of sex hit her nostrils, she leaned down, pressing her nose against the source. Tegan was clearly embarrassed and let out a gasp, surprised when Sara deeply breathed in the stuffy aroma. 

“Oh my god,” Tegan moaned. Sara wasn’t sure if the statement was uttered in complete embarrassment or pleasure. It seemed like a mix of both. 

Sara knew she was acting unusual, but she couldn’t help it. She had never wanted so much of Tegan, and if Tegan didn’t tell her to stop then she would take all she could. Her smell, her feel, her cum. She wanted it all. 

As an apology, Sara let the flat of her tongue drag over the covered slit, letting her saliva dampen Tegan’s already damp panties even more. 

“Oh man,” Tegan gasped. “Sara, please.” She couldn’t help it, her hips jumping into Sara’s mouth. 

She chuckled at the eager hips, forcing Tegan to lay against the bed so she could climb on top of her body and have each part of them align from toes to knees to sensitive nipples to tender lips, which Sara connected in a messy kiss. Tegan groaned from underneath her, jumping back into Sara, bumping their mounds together. 

Sara slipped two fingers into Tegan who eagerly accepted the touch. Her cunt was soaked. Sara moaned at the hot embrace. Tegan moaned at her sister reaching into her, filling her. She couldn’t do anything but thrust herself against Sara. Her hands searched all over Sara’s back, feeling the pointed shoulder blades, following the steady line of her spine to the dimples of her round ass which she gripped for support, pulling her closer like she couldn’t get enough body heat. 

“Oh, Sara,” She sighed. 

She felt a smile press into her shoulder. She hugged her even closer. She loved how Sara smelled, loved the smell of sex that wifted through the room and surrounded their sweaty bodies. 

“I’m so close,” She groaned. 

She whined when Sara pried herself off from Tegan’s hold, her fingers still buried as she crawled down her body to watch her own fingers thrust into Tegan’s pink walls. The new support for her elbow allowed to fuck Tegan even harder. She saw how Tegan’s clit jumped out for attention, how she was dripping onto the mattress. Sara licked her lips, cleaning off the drool there. 

“Fuck yeah,” Tegan praised. “I’m close, I’m close.” Her voice crackled, liquid lust dripping from her moans. 

Knuckle deep and pounding into her, filling her, the tips of her fingers slamming back and forth, Sara listened to the high moans and whines, paid attention to how Tegan spasmed, how she gripped onto the sheets near her hips. 

“Are you going to come for me?” Sara asked, her voice so winded that it was merely a whisper. 

“Yes,” Tegan hissed, before gasping out Sara’s name like a mantra. _Sara Sara Sara...Fuck…_

And Sara felt how hard Tegan came. Tegan winded down from the high of the fuck but Sara wasn’t ready to leave the warmth and left her fingers there to rest, slowly moving around to stir all wetness there. 

She peaked at Tegan, how she looked thoroughly used up and spent. Beads of sweat trailed down between her breasts to her still spasming stomach, her eyes shut as she tried to find her breath. Tegan was still squeezed tight around her fingers, and Sara rested there until she felt Tegan’s walls relax. 

Her fingers sneakily slipped from between Tegan’s legs, quickly replacing them with her mouth. She was going to fulfill her fantasies for all they were worth. Fuck Tegan then have her come in her mouth. 

Still tender and caught off guard, Tegan hips jumped in Sara’s mouth with a yelp, but relaxed when Sara’s tongue was only carefully massaging her folds, avoiding her sensitive areas, delicately using the tip of her tongue to kiss at Tegan’s hole making Tegan laugh breathlessly. Sara’s lips and tongue felt great against her but she was moving against her cunt slowly and avoiding any extra sensitive parts. She ran her fingers through Sara’s hair, just as carefully as Sara’s tongue moved over her. 

“Oh man,” Tegan whined. She could hear Sara swallowing all the juices she was collecting. 

When Sara believed Tegan had enough time to settle down from her climax, she began lapping at her like a hungry kitten, eating her and tonguing her clit until she quickly came again, fast and intense as she arched off the bed. 

Sara gave her one last kiss on her mound before climbing back to lay on top of Tegan where she hid her face into her shoulder. Her chin was literally dripping with Tegan, but she didn’t feel like cleaning herself off. 

It was only a moment of rest before Tegan flipped their positions. She looked tired but ready. Sara had no power left in her body to do anything but lie down and let Tegan do whatever she wanted. Tegan leaned over, licking all the cum off from Sara’s chin before kissing her. 

Sara was just as soaked as herself so it was no trouble to sink her fingers into Sara, fucking her and Sara could do no more but tiredly lay back and take it. She quietly mewled and gasped with every thrust of her fingers. 

Tegan began thumbing at Sara’s clit, stroking the little bud while her finger thrust faster. Sara was so wound up throughout the night that everything almost felt like too much and when her clit was being played with and she felt so full, her arms covered her face when the sound of her desperate moans were too embarrassing.

“No,” Tegan growled, shifting on her knees so she could force Sara’s arms away from her face. “Look at me. I wanna see you.” And in a softer tone. “Look at me please.”

Sara did. No matter how it felt, she couldn’t deny Tegan when she asked her like that. They held each other's gaze, even as Sara felt the hot strike of climax rip through her, she wouldn’t tear away from Tegan’s eyes. 

“Oh,” Sara sighed when it all lapped at her like the waves of the black beach. 

One more messy kiss to her lips before Tegan lay next to her, moving the hair that fell over her sister’s eyes. 

…

Tegan awoke to a bright light. She was scootched to the wall and felt the dip of the mattress where Sara’s body was next to her. Their bare skin touched as they lay side to side. She let her hand wander, skimming over the thigh next to hers and then to the pointed hipbone. She thumbed at the skin there, watching Sara’s sleeping face which twitched at the contact. 

She could feel the dried up sweat on her body and the sheets, the ache that still hummed quietly between her legs, the dull pain resting in her head from one too many drinks. She didn’t feel any regret or panic. Rather, she felt very calm. 

She wanted to lean down and kiss Sara awake, but she willed herself to wait and see how Sara was feeling. 

She slipped out of bed, carefully maneuvering around her sister’s body. She went to her side of the room to dig through her drawers, finding clean underwear and an oversized shirt. She looked to Sara once more before leaving the room. She drank some water from the sink as she gazed out the window. She could see people occasionally walking along the hills and steps in the distance. Families with children, couples, and groups of friends. Stabs of shame hit her when she remembered how she and Sara unabashedly touched each other, undressed in front of each other with all their windows open. They were so exposed last night yet they didn’t care or maybe they weren't thinking. 

Tegan couldn’t remember a time where they had fucked like that before. So involved and shamelessly. No matter how good it was, it did worry her. Only because she didn’t know what to expect from Sara now. They had three days left. Tegan had to ponder how their remaining time would be. She hoped they could slip back into casual talk and friendly company as they had thus far. She probably didn’t have to worry, Sara always acted so casual afterwards. It was Tegan who always lost her footing. 

In the bedroom, Sara had woken similarly to Tegan, her eyes pried open from the morning beams. Without thinking she felt for Tegan’s body only to find her spot empty but still warm. Now fully awake, she stretched out in her bed, the memories of last night coming back to her languidly. She felt all around the sheets, feeling where they had rolled around. Her fingers dug into the fabrics like she was reading grail, each stitch retelling the night’s events. She could hear Tegan move around in the other room, shuffling about. She didn’t know what she was doing, but she would wait for her. 

Sara closed her eyes, listening to the Tegan who was only a few feet away in the living room and remembering the Tegan who she was so intimate with just last night. It wasn’t a difficult thing to become wet. She felt the throbbing, touched her lips which were already sleek, lazily running her fingers through her wetness. 

_Tegan please hurry up and come back to bed._

She didn’t know what had gotten into her, she felt insatiable. She fingered herself, taking time to enter herself with slow but firm thrusts and switching to run her fingers over her clit and slippery slit. None of it was enough, none of it was as good as it had been when it was Tegan’s hands. 

She kicked away the blankets so that she lay bare on the bed with spread legs and wandering fingers. She felt filthy. Her own hands were so dirty, she wanted Tegan to purify her. Desperate mewling filled the room. For a moment she thought of seeking her sister out, but the door to the room swung open. Sara sighed out in relief, without stopping in her ministrations. 

Tegan had gingerly stepped in the room, her mind foggy and distracted, but as soon as she entered, the heavy smell of sex and the sound of Sara’s moaning stopped her dead in her tracks. 

Stunned, she watched Sara fuck herself. She hardly acted like she noticed Tegan, but she had clearly watched Tegan enter the room before closing her eyes in pleasure. Tegan didn’t know what to do with herself, she was completely memorized by the scene in front of her. The day shined through the bedroom window, displaying itself over Sara’s skin and curves like a beacon. 

She almost jumped when Sara’s eyes slowly opened, meeting hers. She looked completely lost in her own pleasure. She couldn’t believe that Sara was doing this. She had expected for the night to be erased, but here Sara was, seemingly not done with it. 

“Tegan,” Sara moaned. 

All of Tegan’s wandering thoughts disappeared, replaced with Sara’s name like a mantra. _Sara Sara Sara…_ She crawled over her sister’s body, removing her hand from her clearly soaked cunt. 

“Fuck,” She breathed at the sight. “You’re so hot Sar,” She whispered, her hand replacing Sara’s. She was soaking wet.

She could have spent all day just feeling the hot spongy wetness, teasing until Sara couldn’t stand it anymore, but Sara was already whimpering with every little touch, and Tegan was all too eager to to be of assistance. 

“I want you in me, please Tegan,” Sara said, fisting the bedding by her head in anticipation. She didn’t have to beg for Tegan to fuck her, but she would. 

Tegan’s fingers were buried in sultry heat, thrusting in and out of Sara’s pool of arousal. Sara jerked under her touch, moving her body against Tegan’s hand. Just the sight of Sara shaking under felt like it could make Tegan come. She felt herself grow wetter the more she thrust and more Sara leaked around her fingers. 

“So good Tegan, so good,” Sara praised, her voice broken with lust. 

At the positive reinforcement Tegan quickened in her pace, waiting for that feeling of her fingers to squeeze together and hot liquid to drip down her palm as was usual when she was finger-fucking Sara into orgasim. 

And as Sara grew louder, her tiny voice breaking apart, Tegan grew more and more aroused herself.

Her gaze kept switching from Sara’s flushed moaning face to her stiff and crying clit. So red, so suckable. She was reminded of her own clit, which was throbbing against her underwear. She imagined the sight between her legs was similar to Sara’s. It became harder to ignore her own need.

Sara whined when the pounding digits inside her suddenly left her feeling empty. “No,” Sara quietly cried. She wanted to be full again, wanted the constant pounding. Tegan ignored her pleas. “Tegan please.”

Tegan sat up, stripping off her shirt, the air of the room cooling against her sweaty skin, brushing up against her nipples. 

Sara saw the revealed skin and kept quiet. She watched Tegan drag her underwear down her thighs, becoming memorised at the stringy cum that could be seen clinging from between her lips to the crotch of her breath panties. Soon Tegan was as naked as herself. She leaned back down, cradling both of Sara’s thighs between her own spread legs. Sara waited for the feeling of Tegan’s fingers only for a dripping wet pressure to settle over her own.

Both moaned as their delicate folds pressed together. Cunt to cunt. 

“Oh fuck,” Tegan said, the feeling was better than she imagined. 

She took special care to maneuver her own aching clit against Sara’s. Her hips rocked against hers, having their sensitive parts slide together in each other's juices. Sara had loved the feeling of being full, but these sensations of sensitive skin against sensitive skin was making her even wetter. 

“Oh,” She groaned when she felt Tegan’s arousal leak against her. “Don’t stop. Don’t you dare fucking stop.”

Tegan mindlessly shook her head. How she could ever stop was beyond her. 

They both shook in pleasure. The feeling was more intimate than anything Tegan had felt. More personal than using her fingers or her lips and tongue. She felt as if they were really becoming connected, like Tegan’s pleasure was Sara’s pleasure. She kept rocking against the soft wetness, and soon both were grabbing ahold of each other as they passionately kissed. Tegan thought about how the feeling of their mouths pressed together in a desperate kiss was very similar to the feeling of their lower mouths doing the same thing. 

Both stretched, their backs arching, their hips rattling. They moaned and gasped as they came. 

While fucking, everything had seemed so messy and loud, but as they lay together it was like the memory of it floated above them like ghost, like they had caught a faint glimpse of one only to question whether they saw it all.

All the filth was back. It polluted the air, crawled over their bodies. Tegan was back in her old position, laying by Sara’s side and looking up to the white ceiling. Panting filled the room as they tried to regain their breaths. 

Sara felt as if she had just woken from a long dream. Like she was just now regaining her senses. Subtly, she peaked over at Tegan who looked off into the distance dazed. 

“Tegan,” She whispered, her voice back to normal and devoid of the previous lust that had possessed her. 

Tegan took a moment to herself before turning to face Sara. 

Her face was still all red and flushed, her lips slack open as she breathed in deep breaths. Sara wiped a lone drop of sweat that was traveling down her temple. She let her hand wander, skimming down over cheekbone to jaw, to neck. 

“What is it?” Tegan asked, studying Sara’s expression. It was so difficult to figure out what she was thinking. 

“Will you come and take a shower with me?”

Tegan was taken aback but nodded her head. “Yeah,” She said. “Sure.”

She followed Sara from the bed to the bathroom in the hall. Nervously she stood by the door while watching Sara switch the water on and play with the temperature. Her attention would switch from the tiles on the floor to her sister’s round backside as she felt the water. 

Steam lifted in the room until the mirror was foggy. 

“Come on,” Sara beckoned her over.

Both slipped past the clear curtain into the tub. The water was hot but not unbearably so. They didn’t touch each other through the entire shower, they just took turns washing themselves under the spray. It felt like they didn’t need to share any words. The water pounding against the porcelain floor was too loud for words to be exchanged anyway. 

Silently they were back in the room, dressing on their respective sides. 

_Here we go,_ Tegan thought. _Time to pretend like none of it happened._

She had been hoping they would spend intimate time together during this vacation. It was something she quietly fantasized about, but now that it happened there was part of her that wished she could just stop it all from happening. But, then again, she knew she wouldn’t be able to resist Sara no matter how hard she tried. 

Tegan left Sara alone when she was fully dressed, underwear changed for the second time that morning. She sat at the kitchen table, and waited. 

She tried to distract herself from thinking about Sara but no other thoughts would come to her. Memories of last night and this morning plagued her, Sara’s red pleasure-filled face played in her mind over and over. 

She looked up when she saw Sara leave their room and walk to the entrance of the kitchen. She leaned against a nearby wall, watching Tegan like she didn’t know if she was allowed to be in her presence. 

She hadn’t fully dressed herself, she had put on a simple large white button-up, swimming in the fabric. Tegan couldn’t tell if she was wearing anything under it and her eyes swept over her sister’s body before she looked back down at the table. Sara had probably just wanted to be comfortable but Tegan greedily let her eyes wander. 

To make up for her lust filled gaze, she sent Sara an apologetic look. Sara walked fully in the kitchen, walking like she was delicate and any sudden movement would break her. The silence was like a dense fog as Sara went about making her coffee. It was only a few minutes before she joined Tegan at the table with a mug in her hands. 

She took a careful sip before regarding Tegan. 

“How’s your head?” She asked.

Tegan shrugged. She had forgotten that she woke up with pain. 

“Headache?”

“Yeah, a little bit.”

“Me too. Want some aspirin?”

“Yes please.” 

Sara left the room before coming back, a couple tablets in her palm. She offered her hand to Tegan who plucked two pills and swallowed them dry. Sara took hers with coffee.

They had woken up late. It was well into the afternoon, almost one o'clock. There was a lot more to do in regards to visiting the island, but Tegan felt drained. If Sara wanted to go somewhere today she would gladly go, but it felt much too late to be tourists. She felt like she did on the first day here and she took a nap only to wake up late into the night.

“You look tired,” Sara observed. “Need some coffee after all?”

“No.”

“Want some breakfast?”

“Maybe later.”

Sara watched Tegan get up from her chair and pour herself a glass of water. There felt like an imbalance that wavered in the air, shifting around and weighing on them both. The crushing atmosphere was something Sara was familiar with. It was there every time they slept together. Sara didn’t want that pressure on them. They had such little time left, she didn’t want to spend that time apart from Tegan. She didn’t want them to spend their remaining days in discomfort. She felt as though she could be comfortable around Tegan, she hoped the feeling would be mutual. 

Despite her nerves she quickly met Tegan at the sink. Tegan seemed surprised at the sudden closeness between them and gave Sara a questioning look. Sara searched for ways that she could soothe the stress she found on Tegan. All sorts of words came to her but they seemed meaningless when she knew what she really wanted to do required none at all. 

She kissed Tegan on the cheek to test her reaction. Tegan only blinked. She sat her water down on the counter and turned to face Sara who looked troubled but sincere. She didn’t know what that look meant, and when Sara leaned in to kiss her on the lips she stopped worrying about it. It was quick but said all she wanted to say. That this wasn’t over just yet. 

“Will you be okay?” Sara asked.

It took a second for Tegan to understand what she meant by that, but she quickly realized that Sara was referring to. 

“Yeah. Of course.” 

“Good,” Sara said, walking away to start some breakfast for herself. 

Walking from the kitchen to the couch in the living room, Tegan tried to process recent events. They had gone to a club, Sara had kissed her in the alleyway and alot more, they went back to the hotel and fucked, and once again this morning, and apparently Sara wasn’t through. 

That had never happened. Sara had never let these things linger for that long. It had been fast and reckless as if they screwed quickly then they could pretend it hadn’t actually happened at all. There was the sexual tension that coiled around them, squeezing and squeezing until it was impossible to ignore, followed by the seemingless thoughtless fucking, touching each other like that was enough to get rid of those desperations. 

The television was turned on, tegan didn’t even care what was on or that it was in a language she hardly understood, she just wanted to think about something else than the puzzle that was her sister. Sometimes she felt incredibly stupid for allowing Sara to control the rules. She was always caught off guard, always waiting, always questioning. 

She snuck glances towards the kitchen. Sara was cooking something in a pan, looking down at her task without one ounce of worry placed on her features. Tegan’s eyes trailed all over her sister. On closer inspection it was clear that Sara wasn’t wearing a bra. No imprint could be found under the light fabric of the button up, and her breasts could be clearly made out under the crisp white. If Tegan was a little closer she probably would be able to see Sara’s nipples. Tegan remembered those nipples in her mouth just last night. She wanted to see them again, maybe taste them.

The shirt fell mid-thigh, giving Tegan a clear view of Sara’s legs. So delicate and smooth. They were legs that loved to wrap themselves around Tegan’s waist. She wanted to throw Sara on the bed and grind against her wetness again. She crossed her legs, throwing her attention back to the tv. 

The afternoon rolled by with Tegan on edge and Sara seemingly unaware of any of the inner struggles she was facing. Sara had joined Tegan on the couch to eat while Tegan kept her unfocused eyes on the flashing screen. 

“How can you even understand anything that’s happening?” Sara complained.

Some sort of over the top drama not unlike a soap opera was playing. The people on screen spoke in loud greek, exclaiming in over dramatic tones and exaggerated hand gestures. Despite Sara’s annoyance at not being able to understand the going ons, she would chime in here and there, showing that she was paying more attention than Tegan was.

“Poutsa!” Sara mimicked when she heard one of the female actors call one of the male actors said word in such unbridled disgust. 

Tegan smirked at the clumsy way she delivered the word. “You know what that means right?”

“No, what?” Sara asked, amused as Tegan.

“Prick. She just called him a prick.”

Sara laughed. “Really now? How do you know that?”

“I told you. I studied some greek.”

“I didn’t know calling people pricks was useful when visiting Greece.”

“You never know.” Tegan shrugged. 

“Know any more greek swears?” 

“Pato.” 

“Pa-to,” Sara imitated. “What does that mean?”

“Fuck,” Tegan said bluntly. 

Sara chanced a sly look towards Tegan. “Pato,” She said. More careful and soft this time. 

“Yeah. So, if you ever need to give somebody a good verbal beatdown, you can.” 

“I can go out and harass the locals?”

“Hey what you do in your own time is your choice.”

Tegan didn’t see her, but she heard the giggling. She could just imagine the adorable smile blossoming on her sister’s face around her laughter. 

The afternoon stretched to early evening. There was no longer any distance between them on the couch, they sat close together, a light blanket thrown over their laps. Sara had made Tegan’s shoulder a resting spot to cushion her head. Her breath was very close to Tegan’s ear, and she spent more time listening to Sara’s breaths than watching the tv. Her body kept humming with reminders of last night and this morning.

“You look lost in thought,” Sara said, not looking away from the television.

“You can’t even see me,” Tegan weakly deflected. 

“I can just tell. Your neck keeps tensing, and you usually talk way too much through shows.”

“I don’t talk that much.”

“Are you sad we’re spending a day in? Do you feel like you’re wasting the trip?”

Tegan shook her head. She gathered the courage to wrap her arm around Sara’s shoulder, bringing her even closer. “No,” She said. “I love spending time with you no matter what we’re doing.” 

Sara already knew this, she had told her this often, but the way she said it just then was too sincere, Tegan felt self conscious about how bare she felt, and quickly added, “I was thinking about this morning. When you were on the bed, and you were touching yourself.” Because that didn’t reveal too much but it didn’t ignore anything either. 

She was embarrassed she said it. Sara was quiet for a second but she didn’t move away, didn’t scold tegan. 

“Oh?” She asked, her voice intrigued.

Tegan guessed that meant it was okay. “It surprised me seeing you like that. All spread out. Were you waiting for me?”

“Yes,” Sara whispered. 

“I almost just wanted to watch. Just refuse to touch you.”

Sara laughed against her. “You would be punished if you did.”

Tegan felt a jump in her clit, and laughed nervously to mask how aroused Sara had actually made her.

“You were really thinking about that?”

Tegan nodded. She gasped when a kiss was placed on her neck, and sighed when a second one soothed over the first.

It was a few more moments of silence as they resumed watching the screen while huddled together. Occasionally there would be a small kiss pressed against skin or a friendly touch. The way Sara handles her was so natural, like they sat like this wrapped under the same blanket everyday. 

Sara remembered her dream where she had been reading on Tegan’s couch, the feeling of domestic peace surrounding them. Sara liked pretending that this was normal, that she could hold Tegan like this and feel her sister melt under her touch.

It wasn’t until she felt Sara’s playful hand placed on her thigh that she glanced down at Sara who was watching ahead, no intent on her face. The hand was still, just lingering but Tegan felt the touch burn her, hot waves trickled up her thigh to the bottom of her stomach. This touch on her thigh was purposely placed, heavy with intention compared to the brisk graze of fingers that had teased over her lap just days before. Both gave her the same reactions of arousal. 

When tegan didn’t protest the touch, Sara rubbed her way to the very top of her sister’s well built thighs, strong muscle under kissable skin. She could feel her body heat under the sweatpants and her body twitch when her fingers began drawing over Tegans pelvis with circles. 

Tegan wanted to understand it, why Sara was acting like she couldn’t get enough of her. All these small touches and brief acts of affection were going to weigh on her. 

“You’re deep in thought again,” Sara said, her voice deep and sultry.

“Yeah,” tegan managed. Her voice was strained.

“Except this time I know what you’re thinking about.”

When tegan didn’t reply, she said, “you’re trying to imagine how I would punish you.”

Tegan laughed, light and nervous. Sara knew what it meant. It was almost a guilty laugh. You got me. Guilty as charged.

She loved Tegans endearing laugh, and kissed her neck once more. That kiss and the rubbing over her lap made Tegan sigh at the sensations. 

“Am I right?” Sara asked, already knowing the answer.

Tegan could only sputter. She didn’t know how to react. Sara was just acting more mischievous than she was used to.

“Mm,” Sara hummed against her neck. “Maybe I’ll tell you if you ask nicely?”

Tegan shook herself from her hazy lust enough to say, “please.”

“Please?” Sara trailed off.

“Please tell me how you would punish me.”

“Do you like being punished?”

Tegan shook her head, not being able to say.

“Liar.” Sara places a kiss just under her ear. “I bet you love it. You always play at being sweet but even you like getting roughed up.” She nibbled at Tegans ear. “That’s okay,” she continued. “Even if you like it I’ll still punish you.”

Sara started off with slow sensual touches, unbuttoning Tegan’s pants and slipping her hand to cup Tegan’s heat. She circled her clit, rubbing on the little organ until she felt Tegan grow too excited, too close, then she removed her hand only to pet her flowery lips, then trail over her sister’s sobbing hole. She never let Tegan have the stimulation she needed, and stopped touching her when she could tell Tegan was getting close. Tegan could do nothing more than writhe and sob against the couch, begging Sara for release.

Sara’s cruel yet gentle hand moved over Tegan’s sex viciously, and finally after all the build up, Tegan’s body tensed and stiffened up before falling slack against the couch like she was boneless, just a body with mush stuffed inside. She felt like she could have screamed but she could only let out an exhausted groan, the shaking in her body just too much to handle. Her voice was filled with gravel.

Sara watched Tegans body arch up into the air, sweat kissing her forehead, her stomach uncoiling and tense. Her eyes were shut tight and she looked just the right amount of tortured.

Sara wouldn’t leave her cunt alone, wouldn’t stop circling her aching clit until Tegans cries turned agonizing and her hips became uncontrollable, like a bucking horse trying to kick her off.

She abandoned the red clit, but her fingers were still reaching into tegan. After tegan had come, the folds of her pussy were soft with cum and the inside of her was hot with satisfaction. Her fingers wiggled around, thrusting slowly just to hear the wetness. Tegan was still arched, her chest sticking up and her head thrown back but she was much more calm. She was catching her breath, still feeling the vibrations.

When Sara’s hand left her, she fell back onto the couch, feeling weak and drained. Her eyes refused to open. Sara moved her bangs away from her forehead, and kissed the sweaty temple there saying, “Tegan.”

One of Tegan's eyes slacked open, peering at Sara under a heavy lid. With purposeful intent, Sara takes her fingers to the front of her lips.

“You came so much,” She says in awe.

Her lips cover the three fingers that had fucked Tegan, devouring them like she’s drinking the nectar of a peach, her eyes closing in pleasure and humming a moan.

“Christ,” Tegan sighs, taking Sara’s face into her hands and stealing her own taste from her sister’s lips.

“What’s gotten into you?” Tegan asks, still out of breath, still covered in afterglow.

Sara doesnt know if she can answer that. She can tell it’s not a rhetorical question. All she knows is that the moment she woke up her body seemed to make the decision for her: that she was going to indulge in tegan as much she could. 

Instead of answering she kissed Tegan again, even more filthy and wet. 

Tegan can only moan against her mouth. Their tongues slide against each other just like their bodies had slid against each other that very morning. Their lips and tongues search for one another until tegan even forgets she said anything at all. 

With a parting kiss Sara tells Tegan to go clean up since her underwear is soaked through. Tegan follows her instructions with some embarrassment, walking into the bedroom while Sara walks into the kitchen. 

When tegan joins her, new underwear and a pair of pants since she had only brought the one pair of sweats, she feels prickles of humiliation at the fact that she couldn’t seem to stop soaking through her underwear today.

In the kitchen she joins Sara by the stove who’s cooking something on the pan.

“Already hungry again?” 

Sara smiled. Shakes her head. “This is for you. You haven’t eaten and I heard your stomach growl.”

Tegan blushes. “No it did not.”

“Yes it did, I heard it,” Sara laughs.

“God.” Tegan shakes her head. Just when she thought she was already embarrassed enough.

She takes a moment to watch Sara cook. That white crisp button up is all wrinkled now but still clinging to her body in the most amazing way, revealing the curve of her ass. She takes a hard look, searching for panty lines, but the shirt obscured too much.

She didn’t see Sara have to change her underwear once. She wonders if it’s because she hasn’t been wearing them this entire time. She wonders if she could have just reached over to move Sara’s shirt a few inches up from her lap while they were cuddling on the couch. Let her hand fall on Sara, no underwear in the way and fingered her just as Sara reached over to Tegan's lap.

Tegan bites her lip at the thought. She hugs Sara’s waist from behind, resting her chin on her shoulder. Paying more attention she sees Sara is frying up a grilled cheese.

“This gonna be okay?” Sara asks, flipping the sandwich over to crisp on the other side. It’s all golden brown. 

“Yeah, looks awesome. Been awhile since I had grilled cheese.”

“Good. I have them all the time. Sometimes I just need gooey melty cheese ya know.”

Tegan hums her agreement into Sara’s shoulder, and as Sara cooks, her hands mischievously rub over her stomach, the shirt bunching up as she finds her navel and circles over it, in it.

“Aren’t you hungry?” Sara asks.

“Yeah why?” 

“Because you’re acting all horny.”

“I’m just holding you. I’m not allowed?”

“Your touching me like you’re thinking about fucking me.”

Tegan laughs, her hands slide up just below Sara’s breasts, then back down to her stomach.

“Maybe,” is all Tegan says.

Sara hums knowingly. Turns off the stove and moves the pan to the back.

“I can tell the difference between your innocent touches and the not so innocent ones.”

Sara says it casually, teasingly even but the statement still causes tegan some concern. It makes her wonder if she’s been careful around Sara. She always tries to act casually around her, tries to play off her affection as sisterly but maybe Sara can see beyond that. Maybe Sara is letting her know it’s okay.

Tegans hands fall back to the curves of Sara’s hips, dipping even lower so she’s holding onto the sides of her ass.

“You’re wearing underwear.”

Sara giggles. “I am.”

“You must be soaked.”

Sara keeps quiet, but Tegan can hear the hitch of breath. She can even feel the subtle way Sara’s ass rocks back into her as her hips sway. She almost wants to grab hold of Sara and just rock her against her front, grinding until she comes against Sara’s ass but she shreds the idea away as soon as it appeared. She forced Sara’s hips still, pushing her against the counter and reaching down to sneak a hand under her shirt.

She felt all around Sara’s stomach again, this time feeling the warm skin. She cupped her crotch, roughly because she wanted to feel Sara jump into her hand. Sara was absolutely drenched. 

“Holy fuck,” Tegan whispered. She could feel Sara’s cheek turn hot against hers. 

Sara moaned when tegan traced the length of her lips over the wet fabric.

“How long have you been this wet?” Tegan genuinely sounded awe-struck. 

“All morning,” Sara hissed.

“Holy fuck,” tegan repeated.

Tegan wouldn’t stop teasing, her fingers massaged over the underwear. She was fascinated by how Sara had sat through this much arousal. 

“Were you going to just ignore this?” Tegan asked.

Sara shook her head.

“What were you gonna do? Sneak away and take care of it yourself?”

“No,” Sara groaned.

“Then what?” Tegan pressed, her touches becoming more insistent.

“I was waiting for you…”

“Were you going to ask?”

Sara shakes her head. “I just wanted to feel it for a bit, just feel it.”

“Does it feel good to be so wet?”

“I just love how you make me feel.”

Tegan took a deep breath, the statement floating around until she suddenly felt light-headed. 

“You were gonna wait until I saw how wet you were?”

“I don’t know,” Sara moaned. She was losing her train of thought. She just wanted to feel Tegan in her and on her without the barrier of the underwear. “I don’t know.”

She wanted Tegan to fill her and fill her, touch her so much that she couldn’t wash her away. She wanted to walk around forever with Tegan engraved in her skin. Pondering this, sinking in the feeling, she nudged Tegan away with the swell of her ass, allowing herself the room to turn around so she could lean against the counter. She met her sister with a suggestive gaze. 

“Kneel,” She ordered.

Tegan paused at the tone of voice before a thoughtful grin creeped onto her face. She carefully took a knee, and the other followed. As she looked up at Sara she felt small in her crouched position while Sara stood confident. She crawled towards her, never looking away from her intimidating gaze. She felt as if she were grovelling. 

Sara smiled, happy that Tegan was being obedient and not questioning this new game. She ran her fingers through her fluffy short hair, as if petting a good puppy. 

“Take my panties off,” She instructed which Tegan was obviously eager to do but she swallowed her excitement and did what her sister told her. Hooking her fingers in the cotton of the underwear and dragging them down Sara’s legs, letting her hands graze her soft and firm bum. Once the panties were laying at Sara’s feet and she stepped out of them, she stood before Tegan in just her button up. Any other time in this position, she would probably feel some embarrassment, but Tegan on her knees following her every whim just made her feel powerful. 

She always felt as if she had good strategies at pushing Tegan away or avoiding her but she never could control her, so a situation like this gave her a real thrill. She was dripping. She knew the sight between her legs was something to behold, especially when Tegan was staring at her like that. 

“Look at me,” Sara bit out.

She looked up to face Sara, her expression not changing because every part of Sara was mouth watering. Sara slowly unbuttoned the button-up, letting it hang off her shoulders while it was open, showing off her taut stomach and the slope of her breasts.

“Eat me out.”

There was only a second of pause before Tegan did as she was told. Her face fell between Sara’s thighs, her mouth open to take all she could. Her lips and tongue sloppily moved against the slickness she found, licking and sucking at Sara’s soft folds and the hole that lay beyond them. Her nose grazed against the little clit, occasionally rubbing against some of the hair around Sara’s mound. 

Sara moaned, her back slacking and her hips subtle thrusting into her twin’s mouth. When she felt her legs begin to shake from the effort of standing up through the pleasure, she grabbed hold of Tegan's head for support, throwing her leg over her shoulder so that her thigh presses against Tegan's crooked ear and the heel of her foot dug into her lower back. 

The new angle made her gasp at how much of herself was in Tegans mouth. Every part of her was grinding against an eager tongue, delving in a hot mouth.

She rode her face, humping until she felt the first strike of intense pleasure wash over her cunt, the fire sitting in her lower stomach. 

“Oh.” Sara moaned. “That’s so fucking good, such a good girl,” she growled, fisting Tegans hair for support. 

Tegan groaned at the pet name, the vibrations sending shocks through Sara. Tegan kept lapping at the soaked cunt, up and down up and down until Sara was mewling in ecstasy, her head thrown back and eyes shut in pleasure. She redirected all her attention to sucking at Sara’s clit, until she felt the warm splash of cum drip down her chin and the erratic shaking of pointed hips.

“God!” Sara screeched. “Oh my god.” She grinds against Tegans face until it’s all too much and she has to pull Tegan’s face away from her. 

Her lower body slumped against her face, her ass pressed back into drawers and her lower back fell into the counter. 

Tegan was still tracing her folds with the tip of her tongue, lapping at the wetness, drinking it all in. Once she was finished cleaning off all the sticky cum she kissed her way up to Sara’s belly, kissing her there and tonguing her belly button. 

“Come up here,” Sara whined, scratching at the back of Tegan's head.

She climbed up Sara’s legs back to standing face to face with her. Sara kissed her, tasting herself on her sister’s lips. 

When Sara was a teenager she had read wuthering heights. Her memory of it was hazy and she had thought it was wildly dramatic, that people couldn’t be that obsessed with each other but now she wasn’t so sure. One line in the book stayed with her for years, one of the characters had said, “I am you and you are me.” Kissing Tegan when she tasted her own juices from her sister’s lips, the quote was stuck in her head, playing like a broken record.

When they kissed it was really like they were one, and Sara kissed even harder until tegan had to shake out of the intense kiss to breathe. 

After the dust of the kiss, the fucking, the everything had settled and lifted, both their intense gazes broke into delighted grins. 

Your sandwich is probably cold,” Sara laughed.

“That’s okay. I need to brush my teeth anyway.”

“Should I be offended?”

“Don’t act like you would eat right after you ate pussy.”

“Hmm.” Sara threw her arms around Tegans shoulders, making her linger. “I guess it depends. Maybe like grapes and wine or something.”

“Wow that’s… sorta gross.”

Tegan ended up eating the sandwich cold. It wasn’t too bad, the cheese was still warm and despite her earlier statement it went down well with a glass of wine and a handful of grapes. 

They kept switching from cuddling on the couch watching tv and becoming touchy. It didn’t seem like they could keep their hands to themselves for very long. 

It felt like time was rolling slowly by, but not because they were bored, but because time felt very still. They weren’t keeping track of the clock but of the sky outside, how it turned from bright blue to dark blue to red and then back to blue. The night sky was just a reflection of the ocean, both deep blue, like the bottom of the sea. 

After dinner they had been drinking enough wine that they were happily tipsy and happily touchy. They had put on a movie but didn’t get through it even halfway before they began making out on the couch, fumbling at each other's clothes. 

Sara had moved them to the bedroom where they took turns playing with each other. They exhausted their bodies until coming became too much and all they could do was lay naked next to each other.

“Will you go on a date with me?” Tegan asked after a while of silence. 

Sara was very still. Tegan’s words pierced through her. Tegan may have been worried about Sara’s lack of response at some other time in life, but right now she just wanted Sara to know how she felt, what she wanted.

“Tegan-”

“Don’t give me that tone. Is me asking you that too much?” _After everything, that’s too much?_

When Sara still refused to answer, Tegan scooted away. Just a bit because she didn’t want to make Sara uncomfortable, but she didn’t want to pretend like she didn’t want to be around her. 

“It’s nothing. Just a date. Walk with me, talk to me. What’s the difference between that and now? What would be so bad about it?”

“I don’t know,” Sara said. “I don’t know if we should do things like that.”

“Sara, don’t make me beg. I loved today, being with you like this? But I want to go out with you like that.”

Every once in a while, Sara would daydream about these sorts of things. Of holding Tegan’s hand in public without feeling shame. Going out and hanging out together without putting on airs of innocence. She felt the short distance that their time here had left. 

“What does a date even entail?” 

“What, you’ve never been on date before?” Tegan jokes.

“I mean,” Sara sighs. “What does a date between _us_ look like?”

Tegan smiled. “Just be with me tomorrow. Please? While we’re here?” 

Sara felt herself deflate, yet she still threw her arms over Tegan to embrace her, holding her head against her chest. Tegan let herself be held, feeling Sara kiss the top of her head. 

“Okay. Tegan. Let’s go on a date.” 


	3. The Road Back

iii.

They were never eachothers first anything, but somehow they kept ending up together in this way, always with the secret promise of a next time. Maybe. 

Never had Tegan asked for a date, never had Sara pushed for more. 

_I’m acting so silly_ , Sara thought to herself before falling asleep. _It might be nice right now, but wait until it all blows up in my face when we have to get back to the real world._ And then there was Stacy. Guilt slid around the inside of her body like a trembling snake. _I’m sorry Stacy_. 

Tegan had fallen asleep much earlier than her, and Sara found herself staring at her sister’s sleeping face. When she was sleeping she almost looked like a child again. Sara looked past the middle aged woman and saw Tegan as a teen with long thick hair and her timid grin. She leaned over to kiss Tegan on the nose, just a quick kiss. Maybe she wanted to prove to herself that her love for Tegan was innocent despite how much it hurt everybody. _I’m sorry Tegan._

Sara had woken up very early. The sky was dark but it glowed with the morning to come. The witching hour. 

Sara thought about how the accursed hour struck at different points all over the world, cursing people throughout the different time zones. If she were to fly, country to country, could she avoid it? 

She waited patiently for the ghosts and ghouls to pass, minute by minute, she waited. Nothing but the still outside and soft breathing of Tegan could be heard. She waited for howling but it never came. 

Sara’s nerves were too much and she lay wide awake, staring up at the ceiling in thought until Tegan moved, waking up with the sun. 

No matter how much she wanted to simply lie under the covers and seek out Tegan’s body, she knew that she would regret missing a date with Tegan. 

She leaned over, watching Tegan’s twitching face. She looked without worry, and what reason did she have to worry? Sara felt like they were driving smoothly through a dark path, unaware of anything beyond the road in front of them. She shook her sister awake.

“Hey,” She whispered. 

Tegan woke up with the gentle aiding of Sara softly pushing at her shoulder and calling her name. 

When her eyes opened, she was met with Sara’s face hovering over her, a soft warm glow framing her hair like a halo. The softest of smiles spread over Sara’s features when Tegan, still waking up, caressed Sara’s cheek. Her palm and the rough tips of her fingers smoothed over Sara, and it felt the way a lover should touch a lover. 

“Hey angel,” Tegan whispered, making Sara snort in disbelief. 

“Angel?” She questioned the new nickname, but not cruelly. It may have been cheesy, but Tegan had never called her anything like that in sincerity before and it made her heart flutter. 

“Yes,” Tegan said, not phased by Sara’s doubt. _Because you look like an angel right now._ Tegan wouldn’t say it though. She simply touched the sunlight reflecting off Sara’s hair and kissed her briefly. They both fell into a lazy morning kiss before parting. Tegan almost wanted to question if this was just a dream.

“So,” Sara said, her face still close to Tegan’s, their bodies still holding onto each other. “Where are you taking me for our date?” 

“Where do you want to go?”

“No,” Sara cooed, shaking her head. “If you’re gonna invite me on a date, you better have some idea of where you’re taking me.”

“Ooh, bossy,” Tegan sassed. “I knew you were demanding.” 

“It won’t be morning forever,” Sara reminded them both of the passing time. 

“Okay, okay,” Tegan relented. She looked up to the ceiling in contemplation. “Give me a minute to think.”

She cushioned her head under crossed arms. “What to do, what to do?” She asked herself. Sara took this time to study Tegan. Her face was stuck in thought and she looked so cute, and on the other hand she was all bare skin under the blanket. Her breasts were covered by the blanket but the top of them could be made out. They were pale compared to her pointed collarbones and arms which had been continuously kissed by the Greek sun. Sara’s finger trailed over Tegan’s skinny yet defined arms, feeling the subtle muscle of her bicep, following a line skin and muscle to her shoulder down the curve of her right breast, trailing down to her smooth armpit. Tegan twitched at the ticklish touch but remained mostly unfazed besides a sly smile. 

“Figured it out yet?” Sara asked as her finger continued it’s descent down the side of Tegan’s torso, dragging over her ribs. 

“Not yet,” Tegan murmured. 

“No?” Now she playfully circled the point of her hip. 

She heard Tegan’s breath hitch, saw how her thoughtful look slipped into something more shy. She shook her head, keeping her gaze up, avoiding Sara’s sultry stare. 

“That’s okay,” Sara said, almost like she was saying it to herself. “Keep thinking.”

With that she slipped under the covers, crawling down Tegan’s body so that she was facing Tegan between her legs. The blanket was light enough so that she could make out her lower body, covered in sharp shadows. 

“Hey, what are you doing?” Tegan yelped, surprised. 

Sara pinched her thigh, making Tegan jump. “Just keep thinking,” She commanded. 

Tegan didn’t say anything more, and her legs stopped being so tense. Sara took a moment to appreciate how Tegan’s sex looked. She had mostly seen it when Tegan was aroused, when her flowery lips were open and slick. When her clit was reaching for warmth. Now it just sat comfortably, everything so small, her clit hidden from view. Sara rubbed the closed off lips, letting her fingers drag over the delicate skin, and reached inside, where she gently prodded inside her sister. She was getting wet, and Sara felt the arousal that had just started to build within her. 

She couldn’t see Tegan, but she could hear her flustered breathing, and her body language was jumpy. Sara ran her palm up her thigh and down so she could hold onto Tegan’s knee, and back up to hold onto her thigh again. Her fingers slipped from Tegan’s tight entrance so she could rub the gathered arousal onto her now sleek petals. She loved how when she spread her open she could see her twitching hole asking to be filled. So Sara filled it. With her tongue, slowly entering in and out, feeling as Tegan twitched around her, and soaked all around her lips and cheeks as she dug deeper. 

All Tegan could do was lie back and feel all the sensations. She wanted to see Sara’s brown eyes as she ate her out, but she was hidden under the blanket. She reached under to ruffle at Sara’s hair, combing her fingers where it was longer in the front and roughing it up in the back where it was shorter. 

Sara had told her to think, but that seemed impossible. No thoughts would come through the haze that massaged her brain. Anytime a coherent thought popped up, it was always just Sara. Trying to imagine Sara with her mouth full of Tegan’s cunt. Memories of Sara looking lovely with the sunshine in her hair. 

“Fuck,” Tegan hissed, her hips helpless and trying to jump into Sara’s mouth. 

Sara would switch from fucking her with her tongue to lapping at her opened up petals, tender and seeping with arousal, licking up her outer lips to her clit which her tongue stroked in little circles. 

Tegan moaned, feeling helpless against Sara’s sloppy tongue. She accidently pulled at Sara’s hair when she felt the harsh waves of an orgasm crash down on her. Her whole body tensed, all her limbs losing the feeling of being present besides her stimulated clit and lips. Feeling started to creep back to her body and without saying anything, Sara seemed to understand when she was beginning to be overstimulated and parted from the tender flesh with a kiss to Tegan’s soaked slit. Tegan could feel cum drip down onto the sheets. 

Sara crawled back up her body and layed down in her old position where she could hold Tegan and press her sister’s head against her chest. She felt Tegan’s strained breathing hit her collarbone in hot puffs. Her lips were still wet with Tegan.

“Did you think of something?” Sara asked softly, rubbing the fuzz of hair at the back of Tegan’s neck. 

Tegan breathed out a laugh. “My brain didn’t have a lot of room for thinking,” She said. 

She felt around Sara’s hips, palmed her ass so she could feel their tummies and thighs kiss. She tried to sneak her hand down Sara’s mound to feel her, but Sara grabbed it before she could do anything. 

“Later,” Sara said. “We have to get ready for our date.”

“What, no. I want to do you too,” Tegan whined, pressing aroused kisses onto Sara’s shoulders before being lightly pushed away. 

“You can make it up to me later,” Sara promised, slipping out of bed, and giving Tegan a view of her naked body. 

She watched Sara’s soft features and delicate curves for a moment, feeling a sharp spike shoot through between her legs, intensified by the recent orgasm. She rolled out of bed, following her sister out of the room until she spotted something on the wooden floor. 

“Tegan?” Sara called from the bathroom. 

“Uh, yeah why don't you go first? I’ll wait.”

She saw Sara shrug before shutting the door, leaving a small crack so that Tegan could see her slip into the shower. Tegan bent down to pick the shirt off the floor. It was Sara’s, the one she had been wearing all day yesterday. The white button-up that she had tried to see through into Sara’s skin. Yesterday it was pure white, but now the fabric looked dull almost. She brought it up to her face, the once crisp fabric all wrinkled, and breathed in it’s scent. It was musty, and definitely needed a wash. She played with the shirt, inspecting different parts of it, smelling Sara’s scent. One part of the fabric seemed stained, an off white color dried up over the lower part of the shirt. Smelling the stain, it was apparent what it was, and Tegan made sure to breathe it in deeply. 

She wanted to wear it and keep it on for their date but she knew Sara would disprove. She put it on carefully, like the shirt would shatter if she mistreated it. She buttoned every button right up to the collar, walking into the living room where she sat down on the couch. She spent a few minutes just sitting. Besides the shower running, everything felt so quiet and still. 

Tomorrow they were going home, and Tegan didn’t know what would become of them. This wouldn’t be the first time they would awkwardly part ways from time spent indulging themselves, yet Tegan was more afraid about the future more than she had ever been. Something was looming in the distance and it felt dark. So dark that she couldn’t even imagine what life was going to be like after this trip. A part of her secretly believed that maybe Sara would just disappear. _This Sara_. The one who doesn't hide behind anything. Tegan thought her sister always looked so clear to her, so uncomplicated when she was with Tegan like this. She had to wonder if Sara felt that same dark looming distance. Was that why she was touching Tegan so much? 

Lost in thought, she hadn’t realized the shower was no longer running and the sudden presence of Sara startled her. 

“It’s just me,” Sara teased. She had put on some fresh clothes, slacks and a similar shirt to the one Tegan was wearing. 

“Why’d you put that on?” Sara asked, coming closer to inspect the shirt. “It’s filthy,” She said in mild embarrassment. 

“It’s really comfortable,” Tegan said, shrugging. 

“Go take a shower so we can go, please,” Sara said, ruffling Tegans fluffy head of hair. 

“Eager?” She asked, getting up.

Sara didn’t say anything. They both knew their time like this was limited. 

In the bathroom Tegan stripped off the shirt, letting it fall on the cold tiles of the floor to be forgotten for a while. Wearing Sara’s clothes was like putting on her skin, and she felt a chill over her body when she had to discard Sara’s skin. Even under the hot spray of the shower, her body was missing some warmth. 

She changed into some cotton pants, covered in a design she thought was cute, and threw on a black shirt that she tucked into the pants while rolling the sleeves up so the breeze would be able to cool her down in the summer heat. Both she and Sara threw on the hats she had bought in Fira, and Tegan’s heart swelled at how beautiful Sara looked. 

The morning was still early. The wind was brisk, wafting from the ocean. The open streets were mostly quiet, just a few people strangling, enjoying the fresh air. Not much was open besides a few cafes and some wandering fruit vendors. They could see oia off into the distance, held up by the steep cliffs that emerged from the ocean. 

The path to Oia was surrounded by green and various fauna. Tegan told Sara she wanted them to walk to the little town. She had heard that you could see the sunset more clearly from there, and she envisioned Sara and herself watching the sunset there, though she hadn’t told Sara, she had just told her she wanted to visit Oia.

They walked along the rim of the caldera into Imerovigli, a town covered in white, all it’s buildings on the slope of the hills, pouring down into the sea. A town filled with hotels and wide awake tourists. 

Past the town was a gravel path, trees and wild plants were a part of the last leg of the journey. A quiet walk with only a few little snack shacks and a hotel hidden from view. An island floated to their left, watching as their hike turned from steep then back down into the dry looking plains that held Oia. 

They had stopped in the middle of their hike to sit and rest by some ruins. An old fortress that sat on a rocky cliff. It was so worn and old that it barely resembled what it once was, looking like a large bulky rock. They sat on the gravelled ground, sharp blades of grass peeking out from the pebbles. Both took turns drinking from the water bottle Sara had brought as they silently ate their packed lunches of sandwiches and fresh red apples. People would pass them on the path, and sometimes people would come over to make small talk as they admired the view of the old ruins, but for the most part they felt alone in the world with themselves. 

The sun was high in the sky when they entered the town. They were tired and sweating, but the bright blue and white of the town was energizing. Chapels, hotels, and restaurants all huddled together in a much more cozy way than the buildings in rowdy Fira or sleepy Firo. People lined the small streets and the chatter of the people was much softer, the voices carried on like the wind around them.

All the shops had a local feel with hand painted signs and small crowds of customers, mostly tourists. In Oia they were closer to the stretch of sea and the smell of the beach was stronger than ever. They walked from store to store, admiring the handmade artwork, pottery, and jewelry that were all so unique. They stopped plenty of times to take pictures of the views. 

There were so many times when Tegan just wanted to grab hold of Sara’s hand and walk through the streets like that, but she didn’t know how far Sara was willing to take this date. She could only look back to the night where Sara held her hand through the static night in Fira. That was a nice feeling. 

They found a bookstore hidden amongst the buildings, stairs leading down to it’s entrance. The place was warm in color, books covering the walls, their colorful spines painting the walls.. Old tables and worn shelves were everywhere, trying to hold as many books as they could. There were even some stacks sitting on the floor, pushed to the side so people wouldn’t trip over them. Not many people were in the store, just a small handful, everyone hidden in their own special corner. Little handwritten signs were pinned all over the place, separating all the books by genre. Surprisingly everything was written in english and most of the books were too. 

It felt like Sara’s own slice of paradise. Books lined the walls and were stacked in piles almost as high as the ceiling. Almost every spine was worn with use. Sara didn’t know why she was so drawn to these old books that were beyond her grasp but she felt like she could have gone over every title. 

Tegan followed Sara around as her sister regarded all the books, eyes shining in appreciation. She hardly glanced at any of the covers, just watched Sara as she explored the little store. She would pull all sorts of titles out and show them to Tegan, things she had read before. Have _you read this one? It’s interesting because…_ And ones she had never seen _Oh, I like the cover of this one._ Tegan nodded and smiled. She felt good.

Sara knew Tegan was looking at her like a lover would look at a lover. Tegan looked at her like that often, though Sara could tell she tried to hide it. The idea that their time together today was a date seemed to lift some veil away from them. They were hiding yet vulnerable. Sara tried to imagine Tegan as her girlfriend. She didn’t like to go down this road of thoughts, but sometimes it couldn’t be helped. She saw a couple on one side of the store, standing close together and looking at the books as they whispered to each other in loving voices, just as herself and Tegan were. No music played in the store, and everybody was quiet like they were in a library, so the sweet murmuring couple could be heard almost completely. They sounded like they loved each other a lot, and Sara kept peaking at them over the top of the books she would flip through. The woman played with the stubble on the man’s cheek and offered him a quick peck on the lips before they decided to depart from the store. Sara wished she could do that. Just go over and give Tegan a kiss, a small quick one that nobody would even question, but there was still a barrier preventing her from doing so. Instead, she let her love flow through her words, through subtle touches, trying to communicate to Tegan how much she adored her. She was glad Tegan seemed to understand. 

They found themselves in the section where philosophy, mythology, and all sorts of books like that were placed. Sara scanned over the spines that were all pressed together, spotting familiar names and not so familiar names. Her pointer finger travelled across the spines, feeling how some felt brand new and some were worn and rough to the touch. Her finger stopped at one book, something that was familiar yet distant hit her, like deja vu. _The Hero’s Journey_. She pulled it out and was surprised to find the whole book was translated in greek. 

She recognized the title and author from the time in her life when she had been attending some college classes. It was recommended reading for her lit class, and while she had borrowed it from the library, she barely skimmed through it, thinking it was dull and maybe too simple. Why should stories have to be contained into these neat structures? Life was unpredictable and out of order. But then again, she was younger during that time. Revisiting something when you were wiser might allow you to understand it better. Maybe Sara would learn greek. She sort of wanted to all of a sudden. 

“Is that Luke Skywalker?” Tegan asked over her shoulder. 

Sara laughed, “Yes. It’s about the many stages a main character goes through in their story, I guess. This guy noticed there was a pattern that all hero’s went through in greek mythology and wrote them all down. I was supposed to read it in one of my classes, but didn’t get far.” 

“Sounds neat. So it’s a book for learning how to write?” 

“I don’t know if it’s for learning how to write. Maybe it’s just to better understand the perspective of the hero and the changes they go through? I have no idea, I would need to revisit it.” 

“So were you a bad student in college?” Tegan asked jokingly. 

“I was never in college,” Sara griped.

“You know what I mean.”

“I wasn’t a bad student, I just thought it could be boring sometimes. Some people were so pretentious, especially in my literature class.”

“Are you going to get that?” Tegan asked, pointing to the book. 

Sara played with the cover, it looked to be a newer print, but it was still worn and some of the pages were torn at the corners. She didn’t know why this book had called out of her, it was just something from her past that hardly mattered, but it did feel like it called out.

She ended up buying it. Holding it in her hands, she was reminded of those days in Montreal where it felt like she was all by herself despite all the people she was meeting, despite all the crowds she passed on the streets. Where, even when she had wanted to distance herself from Tegan, become her own person, her sister was still heavy on her mind. Tegan had admitted to being very lonely during that time. 

She shoved the book into her backpack, not knowing if she would even actually read it, but it seemed like an important purchase. They found themselves doing some more window shopping before finding a little art gallery. Out of curiosity they wandered in. 

It was dead. Empty except for an elderly woman sitting on a stool, fanning herself with some pamphlet. She greeted them, but let them explore the place in silence. It looked to be all local art, many large paintings of all sorts of styles covered the walls and different types of sculptures were placed on long tables or the floor. The building was small but all the clutter of art made it feel like navigating a maze. They had walked into one part of the building, and the old lady could no longer be seen sitting on her stool, hidden behind sculptures. Though they couldn’t find it, the sound of a fan buzzed throughout. 

“These are pretty,” Tegan whispered softly. 

They looked at the hyper realistic paintings of Santorini buildings and structures. Houses of rocky formations painted with a glossiness that they lacked in real life. 

Sara liked the large painting of flowers. Pink and red flowers that she had seen throughout their trip, blooming in gardens and in people’s yards. 

“This place feels really quiet,” Tegan said in her small voice, trying to keep the peace.

Sara agreed. She couldn’t remember a time where it felt so quiet, especially recently in her life where it was busy all the time, where there were always people. Sara peaked around the little gallery, making sure they were really alone, and stealthily, without alerting Tegan, she took her hand in her own. Tegan whipped around to look at her, startled, before relaxing into the touch. She squeezed Sara’s hand in return, giving her a smile before they went back to wandering around the place, stopping here and there to admire the art. Behind all that paint and clay, hidden behind the rustic jars and bowls made by locals, they held hands. Sara’s thumb smoothed over Tegan’s knuckles, and all the places between her fingers where the skin was sensitive. 

What warmed Tegan’s heart even more, was that even passing by that old woman to exit the shop back into the Oia streets, Sara went on holding her hand. 

“Thanks,” Tegan had waved to the lady, the biggest grin on her face. 

Tegan did not say anything when Sara’s palm was still pressed against her own, with their fingers clasping together in a loving hold. It began to really feel like a date as they walked the streets passing stores and people.

Sara was fascinated with a little shop that sold these miniature shiny acrylic structures that resembled the houses and buildings she saw in Santorini, all made by the same artist. Sara found a little blue and white chapel, and picked it up to admire it.

“Oh my god, it’s so cute,” She said. 

“Are you going to buy it?” Tegan asked.

“Maybe I shouldn’t, I feel like I’ve already spent a lot of money here.”

“Just buy it. You need a souvenir for yourself, ya know?” 

Tegan convinced her, and she left the shop, her little chapel wrapped up neatly and sitting next to her book in her bag.

“I think we should take a little break,” Tegan said. The heat and walking around had started to get to them, sweat sticking to the back of their shirts as their walking became lagged with fatigue. 

They stopped at a spot that overlooked a good portion of the town. All the houses laid against the green Oia hills with the ocean in the background, holding the strong blue sky and puffy white clouds. The houses and shops got smaller and smaller, almost looking as small as Sara’s little chapel. It really was a breathtaking view. 

Tegan breathed in the fresh air and both leaned their fronts against the white clay rail as they watched the rest of the town. Sara had let go of Tegan’s hand when it became too hot, but now as they cooled off and got their steam back, she let the back of their hands press together, knuckles and wrists dragging against each other. Tegan looked content, looking down at pretty Oia. Sara searched for something to say, but Tegan beat her to it. 

“I’m really glad we’re doing this,” She said. 

Sara was almost stunned by the words, and there was something on the tip of her tongue, but before it could slip away from her, a random voice startled her. 

“Uh, excuse me?”

The small hopeful voice broke them out of their daze. It was clearly meant for them because it broke the chatter all around them, piercing their bubble. They both turned to the source of a voice, a young woman, shy looking but eager. Sara internally sighed. She saw right away that this was somebody who knew who they were. It felt like her whole world was crumbling around her. Her hand, which had been laying against Tegan’s stealthily, returned to her own side. The skin that had been touching Tegan’s felt burned. 

“You guys… Tegan and Sara right?”

Seeing how the twins were at a loss for words, she quickly waved her hands, almost like she was waving away the tense atmosphere. 

“Oh my god, sorry I don’t want to bother you, i just thought-”

“No, no,” Tegan quickly turned to face their fan. She was smiling widely, but Sara could see that even she was disappointed by this breach. “It’s totally fine, we were just resting for a bit. Lot of walking around.” 

“I totally get it. I’m just so surprised to have run into you, I’m flipping out.”

She seemed like a nice girl, but Sara wanted her to go away. She would have been glad to refuse a picture, to refuse talking, tell her this was _their_ time, but Tegan wasn’t as callous. She even suggested the picture. The girl handed her camera to her mother who seemed confused about who they were but was caught up in the act of finding famous people. Tegan took the fan, putting her hand behind her back and pulling her in with a gummy smile. Sara reluctantly scootched in for the photo. She plastered on a polite but fake smile of her own. She felt naked, and tried as hard as she could to seem invisible, trying to hide her body behind her arms and backpack, trying to slouch and disappear. 

She had never felt so uncomfortable taking a picture with a fan before. She didn’t know why she didn’t expect people to recognize them here. That was unrealistic and stupid. It felt like the fantasy world that they had been slowly building the past few days was suddenly shattered. The scenic view they had been admiring together was now trapped in a picture, with Sara’s unsatisfied close-lipped smile. 

Tegan shared a few more words with the exitebal girl before she and her mother went on their way. Sara just watched as she leaned on the ledge. As soon as the girl was out of sight Tegan deflated slowly and joined her. 

“Well that was unexpected,” She said, her pleasant airs still on but a weariness leaking through her efforts. 

Sara only nodded. She had become hyper aware that they would be leaving tomorrow, that all this was going to end. It was like the magic had been lifted. Somebody found their secret world. No, that wasn’t fair to put the blame on anybody but herself. They shouldn’t have been treating this place like a secret, pretending it wasn’t just part of the world they were hiding from. 

It seemed she was only living her life so she could experience these moments. Like everything else was just a long dream and this was her finally waking up. She came to realize something terrifying. _I live for this. I live for you Tegan_. No way she would be able to say such a thing though. 

Sara took these revelations, hid them under her skin, kept them close to her organs, bones, muscles. That’s where she keeps Tegan.

“I’m going to miss you a lot.”

Sara’s soul had not settled yet, and Tegan’s admission shook her even more. She felt like she couldn’t get one moment of rest. 

Tegan continued. “I’m going to miss how normal it feels, yaknow.”

Sara shook her head. “It’s not normal.” 

“But we were pretending it was.”

“What do you want me to say,” Sara sighed. 

“I love you.”

Sara felt Tegan move around in her chest. _I live for you_. It was everywhere but her lips. She shook her head, gripped the rail.

“I love you too,” She gritted out.

“You know what I mean Sara.” 

“Why now tegan? Why does it have to be right now?”

“Compared to when?”

“I don’t know.” Sara felt helpless. She wasn’t looking at tegan, she didn’t want to, but tegan ducked in her field of vision. 

“Do you just want me to shut up?”

 _Yes_. “We can’t be like that.”

“We already are. No matter what you say you can’t deny actions. You can’t take that back, pretend it doesn't happen no matter how much you like to.”

“Can we please not talk about this here if all places.”

“I’m not asking for anything to happen. I just want, for once in your life, to acknowledge it like I have. Don’t pretend it’s not there.”

“I know it’s there,” Sara defended, “Of course I know.”

She added, when Tegan wouldn’t say anything, just look at her with those sad eyes, “Sometimes it feels like I'm trying to fill my empty with your empty. It’s just this endless cycle.”

Tegan was quiet. She walked away from Sara, putting some distance between them as she turned toward the view of the town below them. She watched the clumps of people with a look of dissatisfaction. 

“I’m sorry,” Tegan suddenly said. “Let’s just go back to how things were.”

She began walking away, heading down the steps. Sara followed her with an uneasy feeling. What did tegan mean by that exactly. 

They were mostly quiet as they walked along the town. They had stopped for ice cream. The cold and sweet substance felt nice under the sun which had been roaring all day long and just now was starting to cool. They ate at a wooden table near the ice cream parlor, a large umbrella hovering over them. Both were quiet like they were recalibrating, trying to get back to normal.

“Maybe we should talk a little more. Maybe It’s wrong to just assume how things are going to be,” Sara said as casually as she could manage. If Tegan meant she didn’t want to spend anymore intimate time with her, didn’t want to touch her, kiss her. Then she was going to put up some fight. Anxiety sat by her, pestering her with the idea that tegan was done with all of this. 

“I don’t feel like talking,” tegan said just as casually. “You’re just going to say the same thing you always do.”

Sara stares at her ice Cream. It had begun to melt but she wasn’t interested in it anymore. The refreshing taste had turned too sweet, and her lips were sticky and uncomfortable. 

It hit Sara. How they were going to politely separate. How she was going back to Stacy and tegan would go back to that woman. They would ignore each other for a while until they could feel the distance pull at each other. It would be awkward at first but it always went back to normal.

Whatever normal meant began to twist and warp. Sara didn’t know what was different this time but normal looked so far away. She always knew Tegan would someday grow impatient with her.

Spirals of emotion twisted around through her throat and up into her head. She thought she was going to cry, but with little warning, Tegan beat her to it, tears leaking through her eyes, dripping down her face into the wood of the table. She tried to quickly wipe them away but Sara had already noticed. 

Sara was amazed at how tegan could easily transform. From sensual to goofy to a competent business woman to passionate to a scared little kid. Did anyone else see all these different sides of Tegan like she saw them? She doubted it. 

Tegan felt ridiculous. A grown woman crying with an ice cream cone in her hand. Sara was being polite enough not to say anything, but she still felt shitty about it all. She wasn’t a reckless young woman anymore, she didn’t hide herself away and cry anymore but there was something about being with Sara that took her back to those times.

She felt sorry that there would be no one who would come close to Sara. She was always distracting herself, falling in love, chasing girls. In a way Sara was right. She was empty, and Sara was what she needed to fulfill her. 

“Are you done with this?” Sara asked, gently prying the cone from her hand. Tegan just nodded. 

Sara left the table, throwing their leftover cones in the trash before urging Tegan up and leading her over to an area with hardly any people. She took their water bottle from her backpack, taking Tegans glasses off to reveal her watery eyes. 

“Stick your hands out,” Sara instructed.

Tegan obeyed, and water was poured over her sticky hands before she was given a napkin to dry off with. Sara did the same for herself, one hand at a time before she added some fresh water to her fingers. She dabbed at Tegan's pink face. It was all tan and pink around her nose and eyes. The Greek sun had made her skin darker, and Sara had made her cry.

“Please don’t be upset, I’m right here.”

“That’s the problem,” Tegan croaked out. “You’re here. You’re here and then you won't be.” 

Once Tegan had her glasses on and seemed more put together, Sara held on to the small of her back, leading her through the street. “Come on,” Sara urges. “Let’s go.”

Tegan didn’t know where they were going but she let herself be pushed through the crowds with her sister’s calming hand on her back. Despite how upset she felt, she still squeezed Sara’s hand when she calmly reached for it, leading Tegan from the busy part of Oia. 

They stopped by a bench that overlooked the sea, and Sara sat them down gently, but did not remove her hand from Tegan, instead dropping Tegan’s hand so she could hold onto her shoulder, rubbing soothing circles into the muscle and holding her close. 

It was getting later and the sky was blossoming into a late evening pink. Street lights and hanging lights that were thrown over the sides of restaurants and stores lit up in preparation for the night. 

“The sun’s about to set,” Sara said.

Tegan took off her glasses and hat and wiped her eyes which were still red. Sara observed her as she lifelessly looked to the sky. People were gathering at all sorts of different spots, all ready to watch the beautiful event take place. There were a few people around the sisters, all mostly leaning against the clay ledge or standing back with a camera in hand. Sara didn’t want to be hyper aware of them, but she couldn’t help it, and her nerves were shot from the fan having spotted them. Anyone of these people could know who they were, and she was frightened. 

The hand that was not holding Tegan took Tegan’s hair through it’s fingers, patting her on the head, and scratching at the hair on the nape of her neck, and still Tegan would not look her way. Sara had seen their mother hold Tegan like this when she was upset, rocking a young Tegan in her arms, cooing softly and petting her moppy head. 

“It’s going to be alright,” Sara whispered. 

Tegan shook her head slightly. “It never feels like it will be,” She replied, her voice still scratched with despair. 

The sun began to set, stretching into the sea in a slow and lazy drop as the sky around it quivered in light, becoming darker and darker. Everyone watched in awe, and when people began to cheer as the sun disappeared, only then did Tegan look Sara’s way, facing her. 

When everybody went their separate ways, all leaving to get on with the rest of the evening, both went on sitting on the bench. When they were alone and the sky was a dark purple, Sara asked, “Are you still glad we did this?”

“Of course I am.”

Tegan scooted away from Sara, making her lose the hold she had on Tegan. It hurt to have her touch rejected.

“It’s just,” Tegan started, her voice worked up and on the verge of getting upset again, “Just once I want you to make me feel like a priority and not some hidden guilty pleasure.”

“Of course you’re a priority.” 

“Then tell me that you love me the same way I love you,” Tegan pleaded, “Stop acting like it hurts to be with me. I don’t know if I can keep doing this, you have no clue how torn apart I feel when you show me love and affection and then just take it all away from me.”

“Tegan, you can’t just demand stuff like that and you know it. How can you love me? What about that woman you’re with? I thought you love her.”

“I do,” Tegan said. “I love her.”

Tegan said it so straightforwardly that the words stung. She knew it was capable of having feelings for more than one person, considering she loved Stacy with all her heart, but it really did hurt to know that some woman got to experience Tegan’s love, that maybe Sara wasn't’ very special.

“I love her,” Tegan continued, forcing Sara to meet her eyes. “I love that random woman at the club, I love Francesca from the vineyard, I love every woman that makes me forget how I love you more than any of them.”

Sara was stunned, and watched wordlessly as Tegan’s eyes began to swell with tears once again. 

“It’s not true,” She suddenly said.

“What?” Sara stuttered out.

“I’m not empty. When I’m with you, I’m not empty.”

“Tegan, I don’t know what to tell you,” She said. She felt awful, she wished she could treat Tegan the way she deserved. “What do you want me to do? Leave Stacy and be with you? What good does any of this do?”

“I don’t want all that, I just want you.” All of Tegan’s words felt like desperate pleading and it all tore away at Sara to ignore it. 

“it wasn’t supposed to be like this,” Sara said in a small voice. “We’re not supposed to be like this.” Then seeing Tegan looking at her expectantly she added, “I can’t tell you anything you want to hear. I’m sorry.”

Tegan frowned and nodded before leaning back against the bench. She broke into a sad smile, a snarl almost, and shook her head as she looked down at her feet. The seconds dragged on. Sara felt her body swell with shame, and wasn’t quite sure why. 

“I’m sorry,” Sara repeated, wanting her sister to know she meant it. 

Tegan laughed bitterly. “Yeah, I know.” She wiped her eyes, sighing loudly. “It’s not going to happen again, I’m not going to let it happen again.”

“What’s not going to happen?” Sara asked, a slight panic creeping up on her. 

“This,” Tegan said, pointing between them. “What we’ve been doing. It doesn't do anybody any good. It’s toxic, not only for us but for our partners. And you know it.”

Sara kept her mouth shut, but she couldn’t control how her eyes rounded in fear. She had no right to fight with Tegan about that, so she didn’t say anything. 

“It’s the only way I know how to defend myself,” Tegan said, almost to herself. 

Sara didn’t know how she was keeping it together. She sat quietly, willing the tears to stay away. She waited for the rock lodged in her throat to melt away before she could speak. It felt like she was waiting forever. 

“Can you please wait?” Sara asked, her voice feeling so tiny and fragile, “Can we wait until we go back home? I don’t want to stop being with you.”

She knew that staggered look in Tegan’s eyes, a look that said _You don’t have to and you know that_.

She sighed again. Her eyes were still dead on her shoes which had begun to play with the gravel under the soles. Sara tapped at Tegan’s hand, urging her to look at her. Tegan did, and she frowned at Sara’s glossy eyes. 

“Please,” Sara practically begged. 

So many different emotions passed through Tegan’s eyes as she held Sara’s stare. With the look of utter concentration she gingerly took Sara’s chin into her hand, pulling her close to her own face. Sara did not see any tenderness in Tegan as she had seen throughout the day, and it made her heart drop to her stomach. When Tegan leaned in slowly, making it clear she was going to kiss her, she shamefully turned her head away, feeling Tegan’s nose touch her cheek. 

“You can’t,” Sara said.

“Nobody’s around. If anybody sees we’ll just say I was giving you cpr.” She joked.

“Tegan.”

“What?” She asked, inching closer to Sara, still far away enough but still close enough to tease. Her behavior felt like it was lacking something, like she was messing with Sara somehow. 

Sara would give anything to be able to lean up and kiss Tegan without the nagging fear that it was dangerous, but she couldn’t. She pushed her sister away, making her fall lifelessly against the bench. 

Tegan looked off into the dark sea with a sad smile. 

“You know we’ve never kissed outside,” She mused.

It didn’t sound like an accusation, just a realization. 

Sara watched Tegan, who’s attention was up at the stars where her mind also seemed to be. 

“It’s pretty obvious why though, right?”

“I guess.”

Tegan thought about how lovely it would be to be normal sisters who didn’t need to hide from each other's affections. Sometimes she just wanted to kiss or hug Sara without feeling like she was crossing a line. Tell her she loved her without worrying if Sara hated it. 

Sometimes it was just too hard to be around Sara and pretend she wasn’t everything Tegan longed for. How could she sit so still and look so unbothered in Tegan’s presence, when they had already merged into one, been inside each other, tasted one another. Tegan had tried many times to copy Sara. To forget about their other lives and be content with the one they were living. Sara had to remind her that the life where they were merely sisters and nothing else was the real one, _this_ was merely a passing day dream. 

She didn’t want it to be a dream anymore. She had this dream too many times to count, it was time to wake up.

How strange for Sara to beg Tegan for attention and affection and embrace her only for the night to end and act as if it hadn’t happened. Selfishly, sometimes Tegan wished that she could erase all the memories of Sara that hurt her most. The ones where Sara was the most kind and loving were the most hurtful, the ones where they were together in these fantasy lands. If only she could bury Sara like she could bury any other relationship. 

When these thoughts came to tegan, she instantly regretted them. No, she thought. I would never erase Sara. And she secretly apologized to Sara for even daring to think about such things. She promised to make it up to her.

“Let’s go,” Tegan said. Which meant _Fine._ _If not here than somewhere else._

They took the bus back to Firostefani. There were not many people riding with them, and the whole vehicle trekked through the dusty roads like a ghost. The inside of the bus was lit up, almost too brightly and Sara had to strain her eyes to get used to it. The windows displayed the dark roads they passed. It was completely night now, and the fields of Santorini were covered in a deep darkness. It felt like they were travelling somewhere far away. They didn’t say a word to each other the whole ride, but Tegan did hold her hand. That strong grip was the small reassurance Sara needed when Tegan felt so aloof and distant. 

They began walking through sleepy Firo, Tegan seemed tense and walked with her hands in her pockets. Sara touched her shoulder. “You’re walking too fast,” She said.

Tegan’s shoulders drooped a bit, and she untucked her hands from her pockets. 

“Okay,” She said. “Let’s walk slowly.” 

And they did, they walked leisurely, taking in the sea breeze and soft voices of the people around them. They were surrounded by people but it was difficult to imagine anybody existing besides just the two of them. Sometimes their hands would bump into each other and Sara was reminded of that night after the club, after Sara had pushed Tegan against the alleyway. 

They got to their villa, everybody seemed to be winding down for the day and the scene wasn't as rowdy as it usually was around the hottub and bar. Sara felt her heart flutter when they were at their suite door. She willed herself to breath in deep breaths and calm the static in her body down. 

Tegan turned the key and opened the door with a calm patience, then ushered Sara in. They did their own personal rituals of coming home from a long day. Setting their bags aside, slipping their shoes off, emptying their pockets and taking off their twin straw hats. Sara set hers on the little table in the hall. Tegan bought her that hat, and she promised to take care of it for as long as possible. 

She turned to Tegan who was standing in the living room. She looked worn out and tired. Sara had no idea if they would be able to do anything tonight. She desperately wanted to. Wanted to whisper farewell on every part of her body. She knew Tegan was serious when she said she would never allow anything like this to happen again. 

Tegan untucked her black shirt from her pants. “So we’re packing tomorrow morning?” She asked. 

Sara nodded. 

“I’ll set my alarm clock,” Tegan said, distracted as she played with the fabric of her shirt. “We have to get an earlyish ferry if we’re gonna make it to the airport on time.”

And just when Sara thought _This is it_. _It’s over and done with._ Tegan eliminated all the space between them, taking Sara by her upper arms and bringing her into Tegan’s body. 

Tegan stared at Sara for a good long minute, her eyes intense with something Sara wished she could understand. Her head fell onto Sara’s shoulder and she deeply breathed in the scent of her neck, digging her nose past her white shirt collar into the sturdy tendon. The grip on her arms tightened before Tegan relaxed her touch, smoothly feeling Sara over the sleeves of her shirt, her fingers searching and rubbing until they traveled up to her shoulders where she squeezed, massaging all the tension away. Her touch fell to the top of Sara’s chest, where palms rested on each breast, but not for long as Tegan moved all the way down to the bottom of Sara’s shirt, and began to unbutton each button. Slowly and with great concentration. 

Sara didn’t know what to say so she just watched Tegan’s experienced hands get closer and closer to unbuttoning her all the way. Soon her shirt slipped away from her shoulders, leaving her in her bra and pants, Tegan played with the lace a bit, her pointer finger experimentally feeling the bra strap until she decided to undo it, twisting the clasp open. Tegan’s face hardly changed it’s serious tone as Sara’s breasts were revealed to her, but her hands became more friendly, feeling all around the soft skin, and teasing the nipples until Sara sighed in bliss.

She unbuttoned her pants, undid the zipper, and pushed Sara’s pants down until they slipped to the floor to which she stepped out of, kicking them away. Tegan took a moment to observe Sara’s body, her hands searching, trailing everywhere she could reach. It felt like she was making a mental map of every inch of Sara’s skin, and she let Tegan explore her. She gasped when Tegan’s fingers slid down the front of her underwear, feeling her through the fabric. Sara was pulsing, her hard clit throbbed in want. Tegan circled it, taking hold of Sara’s hip when her body began to stutter. 

Sara let herself be worked on, tentatively standing as still as she could while being stroked and petted through her underwear. She grabbed hold of Tegan’s shoulders when her touch slipped past the band, her hand holding Sara’s mound, her palm nestling against her soft pubic hair, her fingers spreading her folds open. 

“I love how wet you get,” Tegan said. “You really love being touched by me, don’t you?”

“Yes,” Sara hissed. Her fingers twitched at the cotton fabric of Tegan’s shirt. She was reminded that Tegan hadn’t shred a single piece of clothing. She wanted to strip Tegan down and press their bodies together, have their beating hearts lay with each other. She settled for teasing the skin she could, her neck, her collarbones, the peak of her shoulders under the shirt. 

Tegan dragged her underwear down in a slow and lazy manner, pulling them down inch by inch until the band was just below her butt and exposing her groin. The underwear was wrapped around her upper thighs, and held onto her like handcuffs. Tegan watched with serious yet thoughtful eyes as she absorbed Sara’s naked body. Even in the future where they might never be intimate with each other again, it was overwhelming to know this memory of lovely vulnerable Sara would be with her. 

A sudden wave of tenderness washed over her, and she hugged Sara close, burrowing herself into her sister’s neck. 

“I love you,” Tegan whispered into her skin. “I love you, I love you, I love you.”

She spoke these declarations as if they were prayers and Sara couldn’t do anything but feel the words tinge her skin. She was going to feel this for a long time, feeling Tegan as she buried herself in Sara’s skin, scarring her with love decorations. 

“Tegan,” Sara whimpered, overcomed with her sister’s presence. 

Without warning fingers sunk into Sara’s messy wet slit with the ease of a stone sinking to the bottom of a pond. At the unexpected feelings of being filled, Sara slumped into Tegan, moaning into her ear, and with each sturdy thrust of Tegan’s fingers Sara kissed and tongued at it, nibbling at the lobe and pressing her lips on around it, leaving wet trails around her cheek.

It was in this position that Tegan fucked her, Sara practically hanging from her shoulders, barely standing upright as she tried to spread her legs enough to make room for the pounding fingers. All she could do was squirm and moan and hang on tight and feel. 

“I’m filling your empty,” Tegan smugly quoted, her fingers lazily thrusting in and out of Sara. 

“God,” Sara moaned.

When she came, it came fast and her cunt squeezed onto Tegan, tightly enough that she became too aware of the shape of her dexterous fingers to the point where it started to hurt. But even the hurt felt good. 

“Oh, Tegan,” She groaned when it all crashed down on her, and her senses were crawling back to her. 

She noticed the wetness dripping onto her shoulder so she pulled away to face Tegan, who was silently crying. 

“Tegan?” Sara asked, taking her face in her hand. Tegan leaned into the touch. 

Tegan sniffled beside her, breathing out a gasp that sounds like a shadow of a cry. Sara’s heart broke. “I’m sorry,” Sara said because she knew it was probably her fault Tegan was crying. 

“I know you are.” Tegan’s voice was rough with sadness. It all felt very helpless. 

“Let’s go to the bed,” Sara urged, and led Tegan to their shared room.

Both sat down on Sara’s bed. The moonlight leaked into the room from the window as Tegan slumped down, her elbows resting on her thighs as she looked down at the floor. She slowly sat up, turning to face the window for a moment before her head fell into her hands. She shook a few times, but Sara did not hear any crying. Sara rubbed her back, trying to soothe the worry away even though she knew it wasn’t that simple.

“Tegan,” She called softly.

When Tegan didn’t respond, Sara cradled the back of Tegan’s neck, feeling the soft hair at the base of her head. Her thumb smoothed over the defined cheekbone and jaw, so similar to her own face yet so different. 

“Tee tee?” She asked.

Silent tears streamed down Tegan’s face, as if Sara saying her name with such tenderness completely broke her. She kept her mouth firmly shut, not letting any sadness slip through, even as her face became wet with her tears. She turned to face her, leaning into Sara’s touch. She looked at her sister with concern, her mouth and eyebrows turnt down. 

“I love you,” Sara said. 

Tegan nodded into Sara’s hand. _I know_. She grabbed Sara by the wrist that was cradling her, pulling her hand more to her face. Tegan held Sara’s palm with both hands, like holding a very delicate bird. She kissed the palm of Sara’s hand, and the imprint of Tegan’s lips on her skin sent a shock through her body. Tegan kissed her again, on a different part of her palm, the area between her pointer finger and thumb. It felt like a lover’s kiss, a passionate kiss Tegan would give to her partner. Sara sighed when Tegan’s lips left her body, but she could still feel the press of soft lips on her skin. It was a kiss she could carry with her anywhere. _I love you too._

Tegan did not let go of her, instead, opened up her hand so all her fingers were spread out and rested her face against Sara’s open hand. She closed her eyes and just felt the tender yet soft skin, pink and calluses.

Her hand molded to Tegan’s face, the tears slipping through the crack of her fingers. She watched Tegan’s eyelashes in the blue shadows of the window. She was absolutely beautiful. Sara was always aware of that, but right now it felt as if Tegan was cutting open her chest, opening up, and Sara was struck by the beauty of it. 

It was as if Tegan was trying to mash them together, get them to mold and become one. Sara felt cracks break in her throat and her eyes become sore. When Tegan released her hand, Sara didn’t move it away, rather she was massaging her fingers into Tegan’s hair, scratching at her scalp and running her fingers through the short length. Tegan let herself be petted and preened, the worry from her face slipping as she fell completely into the sensation of her sister’s touch. 

Seemingly comfortable and her eyes still closed, resting from the crying, she said, “We’re not filling the empty in each other. We’re missing parts of each other. I don’t think we’ll ever be whole, but I think we’re the only people who can give each other what we need. You have what I'm missing Sara. I’m not empty when I'm with you. I think you understand that.”

When Tegan opened her eyes, they were much more fierce than they had been. She seemed more centered somehow. Sara’s hand dropped to her side. They looked at eachother head-on.

“Lift your arms up,” Sara urged. 

Tegan did so, allowing Sara to take her shirt off. She reached behind her, her fingers crawling over her spine to her bra strap before unhooking it. Once her bra fell onto her lap, Sara touched the flat part of her chest that lay between her breasts, then bent down to kiss all around her nipples, leaving each breast with one quick swipe of her tongue around the pink flesh. 

Next were her pants and underwear which smoothly were dragged down her legs. Tegan was pushed down to lay on the mattress, Sara crawling over her body, her eyes watching her like a cat watching a mouse. She took advantage of Tegan’s new stillness, and spent a few good moments just feeling all over her, kneading into her skin and quickly teasing sensitive body parts.

Tegan watched in wonder, the way Sara handled her body under the moonlight. She gasped when Sara took hold of one of her breasts, and crouched down to suck at her nipple, swirling around it and tonguing it until it stood at attention, doing the same to her other. 

“Just be good and let me fuck you,” Sara said, her voice clearer than it had been all day. “Just lay back and feel me.”

So Tegan did. She closed her eyes, paying special attention to the way Sara’s tongue scorched all over her body, how her touch felt, how full she made her feel when she began to thoroughly fuck her into the mattress. 

Sara leaned down into Tegan, letting as much of each other touch as possible, every stroke of her wrist bumping into her own sex. She moaned when Tegan moaned, and gasped when she dragged her own nipples across Tegan’s. 

She entered into Tegan until both were rocking their hips together. Tegan’s body was sinfully soft and slick with sweat. Both shuddered when their peaks were getting near. The pits of their stomachs were filling up with liquid heat as Sara worked her fingers into a throbbing core. Tegan could do no more than whimper as she held onto Sara. When she felt herself becoming close, and the world around her starting to blur, she buried her face into the spot of Sara’s neck that started to curve into shoulder. 

“When did you fall in love with me?” She asked in a broken voice, before her body arched, her legs and hips shaking, a loud groan filling the room. 

Sara was caught off guard by the question, but willed her fingers to keep going, not letting up until Tegan’s body began to calm down. 

She was stunned by the question, but Tegan didn’t ask her again, rather she took time to catch her breath.

“Are you alright?” Sara asked, smoothing over some of the sweat that hid on her forehead. 

“Of course,” Tegan said. She kissed Sara, their lips messily meshing together. It was a lie, she felt as if some big part of her was crumbling. She wanted to be able to consume Sara so much she would grow sick of it, but it was impossible. 

“What are we supposed to do now?” Sara asked. She could tell both were tired, but the idea of sleep felt so alien to her. 

Tegan took her close, so that they could cuddle. “There's nothing else to do,” She said. 

They just held each other, listening to the sounds of their own breathing and the distant sound of the ocean. Sara felt each wave crash into her heart. She had wanted to go to the beach again, this time swimming with Tegan. It was too late, and even if it wasn’t so, she didn’t know if she had the courage to ask Tegan to go with her. 

She burrowed deeper into her sister while tugging the blanket over them. 

...

They didn’t get much rest before Tegan’s alarm clock went off, screeching and shaking her from her sleep. It felt as if she had just shut her eyes before she was violently pulled from a dreamless sleep. Sara had been awake, almost like she could sense she was about to be woken up. She watched as Tegan’s eyes twitched in irritation before opening. She stared at the ceiling for a moment, letting the alarm ring throughout the room. Once she reached over and turned it off she let out a long dissatisfied sigh. 

“I guess it’s time to get up,” Tegan said.

She turned to look at Sara, getting caught off guard when Sara greeted her with a sweet kiss. Just a simple kiss that didn’t ask for more, lingering just the right amount of time. 

“Good morning,” Sara said. 

Tegan smiled in that crooked way of hers. Her eyes far away yet dreamy. 

“Morning.”

The suite felt dead. All the blinds were shut tight, and curtains drawn, making the once warm and friendly rooms seem cold. 

They packed, both sitting on their respective beds as they diligently folded and filled their suitcases. They walked around the suite, cleaning here and there, doing the dishes they neglected, and making sure they didn’t miss anything of theirs. The place had served its purpose well, and hopefully the memory of its walls covered in sunshine would be the image that stuck, rather than the dull darkness they awoke to. 

Sara had washed her bedding. There was only enough time to wash her own bed, but that was okay, since they had only really used Sara’s bed. She smelled the sheets before throwing them in the washer. They were covered in the stench of love-making. 

They left the suite, their suitcases trailing behind. After they returned their keys to the little main office, they were free to leave, so they did, though they weren't eager to do so and their behavior reflected that fact. It was odd to see the same crowds wash through the streets. Tegan almost expected that it was just the day of reckoning, and that everybody had to return to their respective homes. 

The walk to Fira was long and tiring. Tegan had to keep checking the time to make sure they were going to make it to the Ferry on time, but when they got to the docks they were told the ferry wouldn’t be arriving for an hour or so. 

“I guess we can get some breakfast huh?” Sara asked, already heading to the main part of the city, Tegan reluctantly trailing behind. 

All the restaurants were stuffed with tourists who were planning on getting an early start to their day. It was hard to find a place that didn’t feel suffocating, but they finally decided to settle on a little cafe hidden in a strip of street that was full of the kind of shops that saw everywhere on the island, vendors that sold their own art and clothes and the like. 

The cafe played music through busted speakers and the sound felt far away and distorted, but the sisters sat at their table listening intently. It was easier to listen to the broken music than speak. 

After they ate, it was almost time for the ferry to dock, so they set off again. 

Sara tried to sneakily watch Tegan. She was wearing shorts that ended over her knees, showing off some of her tender thigh. Sara had also opted for shorts, knowing it would be more comfortable in the hot weather. Memories of last night came to her in sharp stabs. Watching the muscle twitch in Tegan’s tanned legs as she walked only brought out images of those same legs as they squirm in pleasure, how they spread out on the sheets. It felt so long ago. 

“Hey,” Sara said, grabbing the short sleeve of Tegan’s t-shirt. “Let’s go this way real quick.”

Tegan gave her a confused look but still followed along. Following Sara through the intricate twist and turns of the city. They passed shops and empty alleyways of old brick apartments until Sara stopped them. It was a path surrounded by brick walls, windows looking down from the way high up. It led to another part of Fira, that overlooked the ocean. There was not much traffic, only a small scattering of people who were resting by benches or looking off to the blue horizon. 

Tegan stopped in the middle of the alleyway when Sara did. Her heart thumped in excitement and anxiety as Sara came close to her, setting both their suitcases to the side before gently guiding Tegan to lay against the wall. She felt the brick rest against her back, the stones were cold in the shaded alley and she felt a chill. 

“Sara?” Tegan asked, panic hiding in her voice when Sara kneeled in front of her, her bare knees digging into the gravel of the ground. 

“Hey what are you doing?” Tegan asked, frantically looking around to see if anybody was looking, but the people were far away and not paying attention. “Get up,” She hissed, concerned about the questionable position but also at the sight of her sister’s smooth legs scraping against the rough ground. 

“Shh. Just be still for a bit.”

Sara took hold of Tegan’s legs, feeling up her calves, and quickly letting her fingers trail above the strip of thigh before feeling the smooth bump of her knees. Tegan’s skin jumped under her touch, and she could feel she was nervous. That’s okay because Sara was nervous too.

She kissed each knee. Then kissed them again, leaving the soft press of her lips all over the skin. It only took a moment to let her lips trail both body parts, but Tegan felt time slow, as she looked down in bewilderment. Before she could try to think of how to react, Sara stood up, immediately falling into Tegan’s body to hug her. She squeezed her hard until Tegan nervously wrapped her own arms around her, bringing her even closer by the waist. Sara hid her face by Tegan’s, her breathing very present in her ear. 

“I just wanted to remember what it’s like to kiss you, I’m sorry,” Sara whispered.

“It’s okay,” Tegan choked out, rubbing her sister’s back with both hands. 

When they finally parted and began walking back to the docks, Tegan guiltily eyed Sara knees which were scraped up. Not badly, but the skin used to be unmarked, and now they bore white little scratches. She wondered if it hurt. 

By the time they settled into the ferry, the lack of sleep and heavy mental exhaustion they both faced dropped down on them. They fell into a deep sleep, blind to their surroundings and the chattering crowd around them, all leaving the island, all tired. 

…

When Tegan woke up she half expected to wake up in her own bed back at her house in la, but she was still on the ferry. Sara by her side and a strong sea breeze wafting through the air as the city of Athens slowly came to view. Tall cement buildings crowded together in the distance, surrounded by green and mountains towering over them from behind. The land was much more lush and green here than on Santorini where the grass was dry and light in color. 

She had just woken up before they arrived at the Piraeus ferry port. It was almost jarring. She shook Sara awake to alert her they arrived.

“We really slept through that entire ride?” She asked, her voice still scratched with sleep.

“I guess,” Tegan yawned. She felt well rested, and honestly the sight of Athens was refreshing after being on Santorini for a week. 

They left the port with the rest of the crowd, before hailing a taxi to the city. Their plane tickets were already purchased and they had some time to kill before they had to be at the airport. They ended up near the roman market where the more modern buildings were scarce and replaced with old fashioned buildings in a light wash with red spanish tile making up the roofs. All the shops and restaurants had a similar feel to the ones on Santorini, but they were filled with more locals than tourists. People looked like they belonged here, and were dressed fashionably. Cars and vespas whirred past the streets and there were multiple metro stations hidden throughout the city. It really felt as though they were seeping back in society. 

After their long rest both were hungry and stopped for some food. The dead quiet that plagued them earlier in the day was no longer present and both talked to each other, getting lost in conversation and throwing away all their past caution. 

Tegan felt some relief fill her body and though Sara felt more calm, there was still something squirming at the back of her brain. Something didn’t feel right, but she couldn’t explain what. All that mattered was that Tegan seemed to be happier so she let it go. 

They weren't quite done with being tourists and decided to take a stroll through the streets. They weren't going to stay in Athens for the night, but they still rented a night in a hotel so they could leave their bags behind and walk around without the extra weight and effort. 

They came to a point where the Acropolis was looming in the distance, ancient ruins of a citadel that sat on a rocky outlook. Tegan and Sara had visited the tourist attraction before once on tour, but without anything better to do they made their way up to the area, walking the steep steps and sticking close as the place was crowded with people.

Sara felt tired walking through the ruble. It was too loud and had far too many people. More people than in rowdy Fira, and she was just ready to be done with it all. She felt herself watching Tegan more than looking at the actual architecture, and while it was beautiful, the large white greek pillars standing tall and grand, Sara would rather look at Tegan. 

She felt mixed emotions as they walked through what remained of the crumbling buildings. She could visibly see weight being lifted from Tegan’s shoulders and it hurt. _Don’t get over me too quickly_ she mentally demanded. She wanted Tegan to keep longing for her, She kept replaying that moment in Oia over and over again, where Tegan said that it was never happening again. Time was running out and Sara could feel it. 

“I think we should head back,” Sara said.

“You’re probably right.” 

But, Tegan lingered, walking slowly and idly watching her surroundings. Truthfully, she didn’t want this trip to end. She didn’t want to return to her normal life, but she already made some important decisions, and she couldn’t go back on them. Afterall the dream has to end eventually, and she could already tell it was ending. Dragging it out would cause too much unnecessary grief. 

So they walked away, heading back to their hotel to pick up their luggage.

“Would you live in a place like this?” Sara asked, looking around the city. It was a game they played often, questioning themselves and the band members about the different places they traveled. 

“With you I would,” Tegan answered.

Sara didn’t talk much after that, instead looking on ahead, a blush heating her cheeks.

The airport’s air felt stale and sterilized, the lights were bright yet the place still seemed dark. Airport security was stingy and felt more authoritative than they were used to. They checked in, and made their way to their terminal. It was all reminders that this was the last leg of their journey. 

Before entering the plane, they shared a lighthearted smile, almost like saying _well, here we go._ Sara almost wanted to grab Tegan before she could enter the plane, beg her to stay one more day or let them wait for the next flight, but she didn’t and they took their seats. 

Sara sat in silent contemplation for most of the flight. Tegan kept herself busy, listening to music or reading. The afternoon was ending and the sky above the clouds began to shift. Sara watched as Tegan’s head leaned back into her seat, her eyes growing heavy as she watched outside her window.

Sara took this as an opportunity to take her journal from her backpack. She waited until Tegan’s eyes were resting until she began to write. She was stubborn, more stubborn than Tegan believed. After she finished writing, she folded the paper up, and took out her souvenir that she bought for herself, the little chapel. Shiny acrylic clay that fit in her palm. It was pure white except for the bright blue dome and some small details painted over it. It was still wrapped up, hidden in the shop's bag. Sara slipped her folded paper into the bag, hiding it as best she could, and as sneakily as she could, shoved it in Tegan’s satchel which was laid by her feet. She hid the bag between Tegan’s own things, trying to make it as unnoticeable as possible. 

She didn’t know when Tegan would discover it, whether it was going to be in the next twenty-four hours or weeks from now, Sara didn’t care. She was just going to wait, because deep down she knew someday, they would have another Greece. 

…

_Tegan,_

_Our last night in Greece you asked me when I fell in love with you. I couldn’t answer you because I was just so caught off guard, and I knew you didn’t want an answer either. I’m sorry that I could never tell you I loved you in a way that mattered, but now I realize I owe you that much, even if it’s not to your face. So to answer your question..._

_Just name a time and place, Tegan. Think of anywhere you’ve been and where I’ve been, think of anytime in your life, how you were changing or growing or thinking about me or forgetting about me… Think back further to when we were teenagers or kids where the idea of you and I wasn’t even in your head yet. Think to any of those moments and know that I was always falling in love with you._

_I know I shouldn’t ask you to keep waiting, but I hope you will. Someday I won’t be a coward._

_Yours,_

_Sara_


End file.
